#made it through 23 days of solo backpacking

[jmflowers]

reality of travelling: I was having a wonderful time but was really homesick and lonely, so I booked a flight home… now that I’m home, I wish I’d kept going a little longer and I’m kind of bummed about being back

[winchester-girl67]

Wild Hearts (Part 6) - Two Years After Dean Left

Summary: During her gap year, Y/N goes to visit Dean for his birthday in Sioux Falls while trying to figure out her next step in life. 

Masterlist

Pairing: AU!Dean x reader 

Square: Car broke down @spnfluffbingo

Word Count: 6,763 

Warnings: underage, age gap (reader is 18, Dean is 22-23), reader is feeling a bit lost, angst, past injury (scars), mentions of physical abuse by a parent/violence/death/prison, language, slow burn, kissing/cuddling, talks of sex/relationship, fluff 

A/N: Written for @spnfluffbingo. Enjoy. 

_____ 

Two years after Dean left.

So far, your gap year wasn't turning out the way you'd hoped. You weren't anywhere closer to figuring out what to do with your life and you didn't have the means for backpacking through Europe. Flights and hostels cost money and though you saved up, it would go fast and you'd already figured out that solo travel wasn't for you. 

So you bought yourself a car and it was a used piece of junk, but it was yours.

You weren't technically sure if you could categorize it as a car, though. It was more of a rusted piece of tin that would stall like a toddler having a tantrum, for no reason! It was only ever meant to get you from point A to point B, not go on cross-country road trips to see a boy who was never your boyfriend.

Yet here you were, on the side of the road on a particularly balmy day in January, waiting for a tow-truck. You'd almost made it all the way to Sioux Falls and you were so excited to surprise Dean with a blast from his past for his birthday. Then the engine overheated with a jarring clunk sound and you were forced to pull over as it stalled out again. Smoke billowing from under the hood. Stupid car. Stupid road trip. You should've flown but you wanted the time to think. Now you had too much time.

You were wrapped in your long winter coat and sat on the hood of your car. It had long since cooled and the smoke cleared but the dark paint attracted the sun and it was warm as you waited for the tow-truck. You had called the garage that you knew Dean worked at, but you got his uncle on the phone and were expecting him to show up. Instead when the truck finally arrived it wasn't an old man driving it.

"Y/N," Dean said with a look of shock as he stepped down from the truck on bowed legs.

Damn it, surprise ruined. You forced a nervous smile.

"Hey, Dean. How's it hanging?" You said, sliding down from the hood of your car to meet him halfway to his truck parked in front of you. You stood a foot away from each other and shifted your weight from one leg to the other. Not quite the embrace you were hoping for after so long. "Damn it, I should've said something cooler... Surprise!"

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

That wasn't much of a warm welcome either. 

Why was this so awkward?

"Uh- um, you know, sightseeing." You pointed to the snow covered field to the right of the quiet highway, squinting at the trees in the distance.

"Yeah because Sioux Falls is the number one tourist destination. In the middle of winter." He said, glancing in the direction you had pointed with nothing substantial to look at. 

You'd argue the field still had its charm. Snowflakes sparkling in the sunlight. 

Dean looked back at you and cocked his head like he knew you were hiding something. His eyes burrowing into you, set on digging out the truth without the use of words. Somehow it worked and you folded your cards.

"All right, you caught me." You rolled your eyes dramatically, "You sounded kind of sad on the phone when you said you'd be spending your birthday alone and I... didn't want you to."

You left a little late but drove nonstop for as long as you could and made it there with half a day to spare. Tomorrow was Dean's twenty-third birthday!

"Sammy's only gonna be gone one night, I'll still have the morning with him before he leaves for his field trip." He said, still not believing you.

It was partially true, it was the reason you used to convince yourself to come. But the reason you risked the drive in such an unreliable car was different. And he knew it.

"He's in University, they don't call them field trips anymore." You teased but he remained stoic.

You talked on the phone and texted all the time. You should be able to read him better but video calls were glitchy at best lately with the weather and it takes time to be able to read someone's body language again after years apart.

"Why are you here, Y/N?"

"Can't a girl show up for no reason but to celebrate your birthday? I thought you wanted me to visit." You remembered the postcard he'd sent asking you to on your gap year.

"I wanted you to call first. I would've paid for a flight." He said, shoving his ungloved hands into his pockets, likely to keep his fingers warm.

It was winter after all, there was a nip in the air. He didn't wear a toque but the tips of his ears were still protected by his hair which he had let get longer since you last saw him. 

You sighed regretting the road trip and feeling stupid for thinking he thought about you as much as you still thought about him. Maybe he wanted you to call first so he could talk you out of making the trip. But then maybe you were over thinking this and letting your insecurities get the best of you. That has been happening a lot lately.

You shrugged and played with your mittens, "I needed to clear my head and driving halfway across the country sounded like a good idea to do that."

He sighed a visible manifestation of his breath, "What's going on? You sounded fine last time we spoke."

"Nothing, I am fine." You chewed on the inside of your cheek and blinked away watery eyes, "I just have no passion for- like, anything."

"I don't know what you're talking about, you are extremely passionate in everything you do." Dean said, somehow knowing this had to do with you struggling to figure out your whole future at eighteen. Sure, some kids had known what they wanted to do since grade school but for you, it felt like it was next to impossible, "You'll figure it out."

"Okay, okay, enough." You said, raising your mitten-clad hands.

You didn't want to think about it anymore. You were finally in a place to explore your feelings with Dean and although that's not why you drove out there, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't in the back of your mind.

"Where are you staying?" He asked, changing the subject.

"About that...? I fit on a couch pretty good."

Dean smiled, he knew exactly what you were getting at and he had the space since he and Sam had moved into their own apartment. "Good thing I got a couch then."

His attention shifted to your car parked on the side of the highway. His eyes scanned over the dents, scraped paint, rust and bald tires; the side mirror barely held on with duct tape and the bent antenna. The radio was staticky at best. His jaw tightened.

"Is this your car?"

"Yeah," you answered tentatively like it was an obvious answer and you knew you were in for a scolding.

"This is your car? This is the car that you decided to drive practically cross-country in?"

Here it was, "Um, yeah."

Dean walked past you to get a closer look at the car. "Y/N, this car couldn't limp to the next exit if it wanted to."

He kicked the tire and frowned back at you. No doubt seeing the extent of the worn tread. And he knew you knew better than to drive it that far. After he started his job at the Singer's Garage with his uncle he'd made sure to give you a lesson about car safety in case you took out your parents' car, let alone get your own. His attempt at teaching you to change a tire via glitchy video chat was by far the most epic of fails.

"That's kind of the problem, it doesn't want to." You quipped, giving him a cute smile to ease the tension but it didn't work.

"Who sold you this piece of junk, anyways?" He asked, looking away from you as if your smile was blinding him. 

He kicked the tire again.

"I don't know... Chuck, I think." You said, trying to remember the name of the salesman who sold you the car back home.

"Chuck?" He repeated and laughed silently without humour.

"Yes, Chuck. Why do you keep repeating everything I'm saying?"

"Chuck as in Chuck Shirley's Used Car Lot outside town? Y/N, he's a cheat. He sells nothing but lemons. You should've called me, I would've told you where to go." He sighed in frustration and bit his lip, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets.

"I wanted to surprise you, that was the whole point and I didn't want you to tell me not to come." You said and his green eyes immediately found yours. Your chin quivered either from the cold or what you were about to say next. You weren't sure which. "You don't really seem happy to see me."

"You think I'm not happy to see you?" He asked and his stare softened.

You bit the inside of your cheek, "Well, you are doing that weird repeating-everything-I'm-saying-as-a-question thing again."

"What if you broke down?"

"Uh, I did break down." You pointed to the hunk of tin on four wheels just sitting there.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "I mean, what if you had broken down somewhere I couldn't get to you. Y/N, you could've gotten yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere. Or worse."

"I'm pretty sure two hours outside of Sioux Falls is the middle of nowhere."

"You know what I mean. There are strange people out there."

"I know, I'm looking at one." You teased and pushed his shoulder playfully but he didn't react, "Why are you so worried? Dean, I'm fine, I'm standing right here. You could even do something as crazy as -Oh, I dunno, hug me?" 

He cocked his head at you and pointed, "You don't get to own the monopoly on worrying."

He was right, you were always worrying about him especially when you lived in the same town. And the current role reversal was throwing you for a loop. Just another thing you couldn't control.

You pushed back your hair and sighed, "Fine, but can we fast forward to the Dean that's actually glad to see me? I'm starting to think this was a really bad idea."

"In that car, it was a really bad idea." He agreed and you stared at your shoes, holding yourself. "But I am so fucking glad to see you."

He grabbed your shoulders and bent down so his forehead rested against yours. A single tear got away from you as your anxiety about seeing Dean again and everything in between boiled over and you wiped it away with your mitten.

"Really?" You sniffled but it could've been from the cold.

"Yeah, really." He pulled you in for a hug and you rested your cheek against his warm chest. Your arms wrapped around his waist and your hands clutched his jacket in case he decided to pull away before you were willing to let go. "Of course ‘really’, Y/N."

You hummed, "Hm, I'm starting to think this was a good idea again."

You held onto him until your fingers got stiff from the grip you had on him and pulled away. Dean looked down at you and brushed your hair behind your ear. A cold gust of wind turning the shell of it as red as your nose and cheeks. You had probably sat out in the elements a little too long.

"There's no way you're driving that home, by the way. I'm still mad but I can't believe you're actually here. It's like you haven't changed at all." A smile replaced his frown and he looked you over as if he expected you to look a hell of a lot different or maybe older with the time and distance between you.

"It's been two years, a lot has changed, I'm eighteen now!" Your hands went to your hips as you glared up at him. 

The truth was that it had only been two years and your reflection in the mirror hadn't changed a lick. You hoped it would, that you'd wake up eighteen and an adult and that mirror would reflect that, but it didn't and you weren't about to admit that even you didn't feel your age. You technically haven't felt any older since you got your license. Birthdays after that kind of lacked lustre.

Maybe that was what it was like getting older though. First you stop feeling like your birthday is a big deal, stop feeling any older despite the number, then the milestones get further and farther between and eventually you have to think about how old you are. Maybe that’s how it was for Dean and maybe that’s why he seemed so far away. 

"You're so cute." Dean said and roughed up your hair.

You hated the way it made you feel like a kid counting to ten on your fingers and shoved his hand away. Sure your life was a little unorganized at the moment which probably led to this epiphany about birthdays that you were having but that didn't mean you were a child. He didn't treat you like a child when he met you at sixteen and now you were legally an adult. So what was his problem?

"And you're still strange." You squinted.

"And wonderful, though, right?" He cocked an eyebrow and smirked, remembering the compliment you gave him the first night you met. 'You're strange and kinda wonderful.' 

Dean didn't tinker with your car's engine much before he gave up and hooked it up to the tow truck. You didn't think that had any indication on how good of a mechanic he was and more about the state of the engine itself. Every time he tried the key the lights would come on and the starter would spark but the engine kept quiet. You didn't know much about cars other than the basics he'd talked about since you ran out of other stuff to talk about over the phone. But still practical and theory were two very different fields and you couldn't tell the starter from the alternator, though Dean said neither of those seemed to be the problem.

On the drive back to Singer's Garage Dean let you pick the music and you tuned into a country station that he seemed to hate from the first note. So after a song you switched it over to classic rock which you knew was his favourite. The next couple hours were spent listening to him hum along, out of tune, to songs old enough that your father listened to them when he was a teenager. They weren't bad though and you loved the way Dean seemed happier.

You hoped it was real and not some facade he was putting on for your sake. Somehow, you didn't think it was.

Maybe he didn't need you to save him from his birthday alone after all, but he seemed to want you there. He took side glances at you the whole drive back; that had to mean something.

You walked into the garage after Dean. An older man stood at the desk in the office wiping the grease from his hands on a rag. It didn’t seem to help though since the rag itself was already covered in days old worth of oil and grease. He tossed it to the side of the desk when he saw you walk in with Dean.

"Hey, Uncle Bobby, this is Y/N." Dean smiled and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

"Ah, the infamous Y/N. Me and the Mrs. have heard a lot about you." Bobby said and you blushed.

Dean talked about you when you weren’t around.

"Bobby," Dean warned, side eyeing you and Bobby held his hands up with a smirk pulling at his lips.

"You didn't tell us she was coming to town, son." He said and you saw how that word ‘son’ affected Dean.

Like he actually had a father worth getting to know, one that cared and worried and you loved that for him. Dean deserved to be surrounded by good people that treated him better than his blood had. 

He had hindered his own wants since childhood almost to the point that he denied himself of anything good until now. The lighter air about him, especially in the presence of his uncle, made you hope that he'd found a balance and that his move to Sioux Falls was for more than just Sam after all. 

You might've been trying to find yourself, so to speak, but maybe you weren't the only one. There was a twinge in your gut that made you feel like you were losing him, to another town, another life you weren’t a part of, and eventually another girl. Even if there wasn't one in the picture now. 

You hadn’t talked about relationships and he never mentioned any interest in anyone but you knew you weren’t together either. Dean was all sorts of awesome and a little broken but you admired everything about him; how he could stay calm through uncertainty, say exactly what he thought at any given moment and give up so much for the people he loved without asking for anything in return. You’d never met anyone else like him and compared every boy that asked you out to him, before you inevitably turned them down and skipped prom altogether.

Dean would’ve given you a blast for skipping so you never told him. Instead Benny and Cas took you sand surfing and out to Donna’s for ice cream afterwards. It was sweet and nostalgic and perfect. You wound up spending most of your time with them after Dean and Sam left. The three of you bonded over your love for the boys and the void they left in your life even though you’d only known them for a fraction of the time and still kept in contact with Dean. But sometimes the phone calls weren’t enough and it was just easier to spend time with someone who understood all of that and Benny really was a teddy bear once you got to know him.

You felt safe with them and the age gap didn’t seem to register when there was no chance of attraction. You were hung up on Dean and they knew that. Besides, Benny and Cas still flirted a lot, but never with you. You thought they’d make a cute couple if they ever realized the feeling was mutual and not just casual.

"He didn't know. It was a surprise." You said with a shy smile.

"And you ran into a bit of trouble, I see." Bobby said, walking over to your car that was parked outside the open garage door.

He took a look under the hood that Dean had propped open after disconnecting it from the tow truck and made a face. The same face Dean had made when he looked.

"Nothing Dean can't fix, I'm sure." You said and Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

“I could fix it but the cost would run more than the worth of that car. You said the engine overheats and stalls out regularly, not to mention that it still doesn’t want to turn over. Sorry, Y/N, but without an overhaul of the engine it’s basically a paper weight.”

“I guess, I’m flying home after all then, eh.” You sighed, staring at your two-ton paperweight.

You helped Dean around the garage for the rest of the day. Mainly working on this ridiculous orange shop truck, changing brakes and fluids. He said it was basically ready to sell and that’s how they made business during the lulls in customers. By finding salvageable vehicles and fixing them up. He also made you rotate the tires, though they looked brand new, and you were positive that was just his way of ensuring you knew how to change one; by the fourth tire you felt like a pro.

It was only a few hours before they closed up early for Dean’s birthday dinner. They were celebrating early with Bobby and Jody since Sam wouldn’t be home for dinner on his actual birthday and Bobby invited you along.

Dean took the luggage from your car and stuffed it into the trunk of his Impala. You noted the dents in the front bumper were still there and the headlight was taped up with clear plastic. Dean said he’d been scouring salvage and junkyards for parts but had yet to find any to fit Baby with. You could tell he regretted the damage he’d done to her; it wasn’t her fault, just like how their upbringing wasn’t his. You could tell he connected with her on some spiritual level that people connected with inanimate objects.

When you got to Bobby and Jody’s, a short haired woman greeted Dean with a hug and you with a smile. Until she learnt that you were Y/N and then she pulled you in for a bear hug like you were family. You wondered exactly what Dean had told them about you. However, whatever it was seemed to make a good impression.

Dinner was great and you fell into easy conversation with Sam about his courses. He’d taken the heaviest workload he could and was struggling with studying, so you said you’d send him your playlist for concentrating. You had used it a lot throughout high school and only added to it over the years. It was a mix of easy listening pieces, movie scores, and instrumental works you knew Dean would probably hate.

Dean was delighted in the way you scarfed down your slice of cherry pie. Jody apparently made it for him every year and it was by far the best you’d ever tasted. No wonder he’d bragged about it for as long as he did.

By the end of the night you were full and exhausted from your time on the road. You had only stopped at one motel along the way, and it was a good day’s ride to Sioux Falls from home. So, as much as you would’ve liked to spend the night partying it up with Dean, you were thankful that he just wanted to get back to his apartment and watch a show on Netflix with you. 

Dean carried your bag up to their apartment and let you get first dibs on the shower. Sam, of course, went to bed as soon as you got back. It was late and he had that field trip the next day that he needed to be refreshed for. Dean didn’t seem to mind though, he was mostly concerned that you weren’t too tired to hangout. You lied and assured him that you weren’t since you were determined to be awake when the clock struck midnight. But you passed out on the couch as soon as he hit play.

You woke up well past midnight to Dean carrying you. You were too tired to protest and kept your eyes shut when he laid you down in his bed and tucked you in. Then he left and you fell asleep again mumbling a ‘Happy Birthday’ that he wouldn’t have heard.

In the morning you realized he had spent the night on the couch and you woke up snuggled into comforters that smelt like him. The only thing you missed was the heat of his body. It felt weird to miss something you never had.

“Hey, birthday boy.” You yawned, meeting Dean in the kitchen and wrapping your arms around him from behind.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He said, patting your arms on his waist.

You heard him sizzling something on the stove. A drop of grease spit from the pan and landed on your arm, “Ow.” You released him and rubbed the spot on your arm, “What’s with you and bacon?” He chuckled and you hopped up on the counter stifling another yawn. “Where’s Sammy?”

“He left.”

“Already?”

“It’s the middle of the afternoon, Y/N.” He said and turned to face you. He looked equally as tired, probably from that damned couch.

“Sorry,” you muttered, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were tired and it’s not like either of us have anywhere else to be today.” He shrugged and smiled, “I wanted to ask yesterday but I didn’t wanna pry. How long can you stay?”

“September,” you said hopefully and he laughed.

You technically hadn’t applied to college yet, but you were planning on taking something in the fall. You just didn’t know what and you were trying not to think about application deadlines.

You helped Dean make an early dinner since you hadn’t eaten yet. You peeled potatoes for his ‘famous bacon mashed potatoes’ and he grilled a steak on the small balcony sized barbecue outside. It took longer than a regular barbecue and the sun was setting by the time you sat down with your food in front of the TV. 

You were starving and ate quickly while Dean ate at his regular pace. His affinity for adding bacon to almost every recipe including mashed potatoes doing little to curb your appetite. It was actually pretty good and you both grabbed seconds. 

"This looks familiar," Dean chuckled, tugging the fabric of your hoodie between his fingers.

Your dinner plates abandoned on the coffee table to be rinsed and washed later. 

"I should think so," you grinned and blushed. "It's yours -It was yours, it's mine now."

You clutched the fabric of your hoodie in your hands. It was the sweater Dean had given you the night you met. You'd forgotten to give it back that night when he dropped you off at home and kept it ever since. It was worn but it was your favourite sweater now. It provided warmth and comfort over the years and there was no way you were giving it back. 

"Looks better on you anyways." Dean laid his arm along the back of the couch behind you.

"That's what I thought." You smiled at him and his other hand brushed your cheek, his fingertips grazing your jaw as he tucked some hair behind your ear.

"Did I tell you how happy I am that you're here?" He asked, his voice just above a whisper.

The show you were watching faded into the background and all you could hear and feel was the heartbeat in your chest thumping wildly. He held your gaze as his palm warmed your already fiery skin. You wanted him to kiss you but he didn't.

"You saved me, Y/N, I never told you that. I was just barely hanging on when I met you. Surviving everyday just for Sammy, but then you showed me the beauty in life and made me wanna fight for myself again. When I looked at you I saw a future, a glimpse of something that kept me going and maybe it was a fantasy, it felt like a dream, but now-"

You turned and kissed him, tucking your legs underneath yourself so you could push up on your knees to meet his lips with a little weight. Dean's hands clutched your waist, fingers pressing into your skin and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

It wasn't the kiss you wanted. He held back and a tear trailed down his cheek. You pulled apart your lips and he sniffled, his hands still gripping you like you would disappear.

“This can’t work.” He whispered and met your eyes, shaking his head. “You’re everything I want but this won’t end well, it can’t right now, Y/N.” 

What? You pushed your brows together, "I would never hurt you, Dean."

"No, but I won't let you hurt yourself either." He pushed you away.

“You’re scared. Of this, of us. That’s it, isn’t it?” You asked, pointing between you. 

He sighed and rubbed a palm down his face, “Y/N, you know that’s not true.”

“It’s not just about me, Dean. There’s another reason you’re holding back.”

“Cut me some slack, Y/N, it’s my birthday.” He said, playing the birthday card pretty fast like he had it in his back pocket. 

But you didn't drop it.

You placed your hand on his heart and raised his to lay over your breast. Each heartbeat thumping wildly enough to feel the vibrations in your palms.

"Do you feel that? Our hearts are wild, Dean. They wither in cages waiting to be broken. Do yourself a favour. Don't cage your wild heart, set it free." You pleaded. He was the only one you ever wanted, a feeling that was mutual as much as he fought it. "I know you love me."

He kissed you then and it was like lightning coursing through your veins. All thought was lost and your bodies mended together as he crawled over you. Your back pressed into the couch and he held his weight over you as his tongue gained entry to the warmth of your mouth. The air in your lungs replaced with the air in his and his hands grabbed at yours, linking your fingers together and pushing the backs of your palms into the cushions next to your head. 

You panted and hummed, breathing heavily through the nips and sucks to your lips and throat. You angled your hips up to his, wrapping your legs around him and pressing your heels into his backside but Dean didn’t close the distance to give you more friction. He just kept kissing you. 

You separated your hands from his and pawed at his henley. Dean sat up, pulling you with him and letting you push his shirt up his chest. You tugged it over his head and away from his arms, tossing it to the floor next to the couch.

He leaned in to kiss you again but you stopped him with a hand to his chest. The lamp next to you was lit and it was the first time you'd seen him bare chested. You felt the raised skin beneath your fingertips as his chest rose and fell with each breath.

The scar you had only seen the tail end of that night on the beach ran from his collarbone down the left side of his chest and into the waistband of his jeans towards his hip. Dean sighed when he saw the tears in your eyes and reached for his shirt.

"No, wait," you grabbed his hand and settled into his lap, wrapping yourself around him in a tight hug. You rubbed your hands over his shoulder blades feeling a myriad of raised skin, forming other unseen scars that covered his back. Your chin quivered, faced with the irrefutable proof of the pain his father inflicted on him and you let the tears drip onto the skin of his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I knew what he did to you but somehow I still didn't know."

"It's over, Y/N, he's never going to touch me or Sam ever again. Not even when he gets out of prison. I'll kill him myself before that happens." He said as if he was promising himself.

You went to kiss him again but he turned away and pushed you off of his lap. You sat next to him on the couch and he slipped his shirt back on and rubbed the nape of his neck, then sighed as looked at you.

That look of lust in Dean's eyes was gone and now he was stopping whatever this was between you before it got out of hand. Even if it was the last thing either of you wanted.

"Y/N. My heart will always beat wild for you whenever we're together, but it's also like I can't think rationally when we're close like this. My mind and body are clouded by this fleeting feeling and when it's gone neither of us are going to feel any better about this. And that's exactly why this can't happen now. You're still trying to figure things out and I can't stand in the way of that. You're not done growing yet. So for now, my heart stays here," he tapped the left side of his chest twice, "And I'm not caging it, I'm containing it because if I released it, it would devour you."

"Couples grow together, Dean. Haven't you ever heard of growing old together."

"Couples grow together when the time is right." He brushed the sweat-dampened hair from his face.

"How do we know when the time is right?" You asked. 

"Because it'll be easy... natural.” He explained, cupping your cheek with his palm and running the pad of his thumb along your cheekbone. 

"I want it to be easy now." You said, grabbing his wrist as he pulled his hand away. 

"Trust me, me too. But when we get there, it'll be worth the wait because there will be nothing standing in our way. You'll know it's what you want." He said as if he still wasn't sure you wanted him.

"I know that now. I want you now." If there was one thing you were sure about, it was that. Your feelings for him had only cemented since you were sixteen.

"You think you know that now, Y/N. You're still young." He said like he still saw the girl he'd first met and finally pulled his hand away. 

"Just because I haven't figured out what I want to study doesn't mean I'm a baby. I may never know, Dean." You frowned.

You were more than old enough to know what you wanted in your romantic life. You wanted a man to treat you right like you knew Dean would. He'd proved it time and time again in almost every other way.

"I never said you were a baby. I just want you to take this time to focus on yourself. Be selfish for once. Do you really think it'll be easy to start something now when I live halfway across the country and who knows when we'll get to see each other again." He explained making too much sense for your dopamine soaked brain. "I won't lose you to some meaningless fling when that's the complete opposite of what I want." 

"Maybe, I could go to college here." You thought out loud but you liked the sounds of it.

"Or maybe you could figure out what you want rather than make decisions based on me."

"But, Dean-"

"Y/N, how can I ask you to move here for me and shape your life around me when this is only my home for the now."

"What do you mean?" You asked and sank back into the couch, feeling unwanted.

"Sam wants to transfer to Stanford Law after his degree here in USF. That gives me time to get some work experience and him some time to get to know the closest thing we have left to family. That means three and half years from now California will be our home and I don't know what comes after that. I can’t ask you to move with us, take you away from your family, your home, your friends, interrupt your own studies; that’s not fair to you. Maybe one day, when I can take a breath, when we’re both settled... All I want is you happy.” 

He was right. You had a chance at a life of your own, the only problem was that it wouldn’t include Dean. Not in any physical form anyhow and you were torn, between building a future, and the boy who taught you to care. 

"You make me happy." You decided.

"No. I would make you happy for now but it wouldn't last. You deserve more than that, more than I can give you right now. I plan on changing that, I plan on being the guy that can make your dreams come true, but right now, that's just a fantasy." He explained and shook his head like he could see a future that you couldn't. 

One where you were together, but how long would that take? A fantasy. That's exactly what it felt like, a fantasy, meaning it would never come true. He would just keep waiting and wasting time until it was too late.

You knew you didn't want that.

"You're saying 'right now' a lot but tomorrow never comes, Dean."

"Our tomorrow will." He said with conviction in the greens of his eyes. "Just not today, Y/N, sorry."

"All right...” You sighed when you saw Dean’s pout. The way his eyes pleaded for you to understand and you did. Being open to love took more than just turning a certain age and it wasn’t your time yet. “Okay, it’s okay, Dean, I get it.” You smiled, “Happy Birthday." 

Dean wasn’t ready. You could see he was overwhelmed and he was still figuring things out for himself. He was willing to wait for you two years ago, now you could wait for him. 

You stayed the rest of the month, helping out Dean in the garage with small jobs. Bobby didn’t object even though it probably took you twice the amount of time to change oil as it would if they did it themselves and they had to double check everything you did. Short of retightening a few bolts though, you thought you got the hang of it pretty quick.

When January turned to February and things were starting to get too comfortable, you knew you couldn’t continue to hide in Sioux Falls forever. You had to get back home and take that next step. Otherwise, you were in for a life standing still.

“Y/N, can you come here for a minute?” Dean called from the front door of his apartment.

“Hey,” you walked out from the kitchen, having just put a lasagna in the oven.

Bobby and Jody were coming over for dinner and Sam would be home from class soon. 

“Put your boots and coat on, I’ve got something to show you.” He bit back a beaming smile and raised his brows. 

“What’s this all about?” You asked, dressing in your winter gear.

“You’ll see,” he smirked and pulled your toque down over your eyes like a blindfold.

“Ugh, Dean, I don’t like this.” You said, stretching out your arms to feel around. 

“Two minutes, trust me.” He said, directing you out of the apartment and into the elevator.

You squirmed with his hands on your shoulders as he directed you out into the parking lot, snow crushing under your boots from the storm the night before. You trusted him but you were starting to lose your equilibrium. 

“All right, open your eyes.” Dean said, pulling off your toque to reveal the monstrosity of a truck in front of you; with orange paint the shade of a pumpkin. It was the shop truck you had helped him with your first day here. “Before you say anything, you’ll need wheels to get you home and then to college and anywhere else life takes you. I know you think the paint job is ugly but this truck is safe and reliable and best of all, I won’t worry about you driving it. Well... I’ll worry less.”

You shook your head, “The colour is perfect,” and it was, “And I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

“You already have, Y/N. You worked at the garage for no pay.” He said as if a week's pay would've been enough to afford the truck. 

“That was fun and you and I both know that I held you guys up all week.” You said and cocked your head with a shy smile. 

“No, you didn’t. We liked having you there, you boosted our morale, and Bobby and I wanted to do something to show our appreciation.” He said, holding out the keys for you and jingling them. "Please, just let me do this for you." 

You nodded, “I love it.” You launched yourself at him, hugging him tightly around the waist. “Thank you.” You kissed his cheek again and again. 

“Now, next time you visit I won’t have to worry about getting a call from you broken down on the side of the road.” He laughed, hugging you back and resting his chin on the top of your head.

“You won’t because it’s your turn to visit me next time.” 

_________________________

Part 7

_________________________ Dean: @akshi8278 @laycblack @thoughts-and-funnies @mrsjenniferwinchester @crustycheeks @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @lyarr24 @suckitands33  @eliwinchester99 @yvonneeeee @igotmajordaddyissues @djs8891 @leigh70 @globetrotter28 @backseat-of-deans-67chevy

SPN: @hobby27

Wild Hearts: @justrealizedimmascifygurl @evieluvsjamie @kimberkingrivers @vicmc624 @ladysparkles78 @deans-spinster-witch

[dreemseed]

2/23 

Full Moon in Virgo

Friday night out with the boyz, Ridley y Bryan. I can say to myself with total assurance that I love them, although I haven’t told them because I’ve never really been one to say ‘I love you’ after a couple days of knowing someone. Maybe I should start.

Wednesday night, after the rat incident, I was set on leaving Maria’s house the following morning and wrote Bryan and Ridley in a frenzy. I awoke to their reply saying, yes, you can stay with us. I was to stay in Bryan’s room, as he was still going to be out of town in his home country of El Salvador. At the last minute, he booked a week-long trip back to Mérida.

Thursday was spent mostly in bed, smoking bowls here and there with Ridley. Friday came and Bryan was to return that evening, I slept in that morning, got a late breakfast and went on a solo date to the Gran Museo del Mundo Maya. From there I met up with Ridley at the mall, he was picking up Chinese take-out and I needed an extra piece of luggage. The two of us shared what felt like equal parts conversing and silence.

Ridley is a 23 year old transmasc sweetie from Guaymas, Sonora, his father es carnicero, he studied animation, graduated in August, and is currently job hunting. Libra sun and moon, Pisces rising, with a very calm and caring disposition. He has a gatito named Carmelo, who used to be a partially outdoor cat till he lost his tail in a mysterious accident last year. They make a good duo and have been keeping eachother company in Bryan’s absence. Ridley made me tortas and hot cakes, I washed the dishes.

Once Bryan arrived and settled in, the three of us went out into the town. Bryan has a way of galavanting through the streets that mesmerizes me, he's charming and easy to follow. We took el camión al centro. Nos fuimos caminando por el barrio, cada sitio mas y mas ocultado, algunos ya estuvieron en mi radar, otros no. Fuimos al Pipiripau, KINO-UADY, Estadio Salvador Alvarado, Salón Gallos, Palacio de la Música, y La Gata Negra. 

Bryan is 22 years old, also studied and graduated with a degree in animation, his personality is, as Ridley described, akin to a highly-sociable dog, he can wolf whistle in true Central American fashion, and he’s added ‘guey’ to his lexicon after 4 years of living in México. He touched every plant, car, fence, building face and lamppost he could get his hands on. We walked by an abandoned bus with it’s rear doors open, Bryan hopped in and I followed, Ridley stayed out on the sidewalk saying he had to piss but I saw the caution they held in their body, I imagine this behavior wouldn’t fly in narco country.

This night was the most liberated I’ve felt on my trip thus far and I’m inspired to take more open hearted action. They mentioned they would be in CDMX in April to see Mitski in concert for the second time and a few days later, a total solar eclipse will be taking place in Mazatlán, where there’s been talk about renting a car to drive to the Pacific coast and bask in nearly 4 minutes of darkness. I’m tempted to extend my trip though I don’t know how feasible that would be. I just can’t shake the feeling that we’ll see each other and soon.

Before we went out that night, I abruptly ditched my mini backpack, full of everything I could possibly need, and carried my phone and wallet instead. It’s as if there was a knowing that we’d be sprinting from one bus stop to the next to catch our ride to the city center. That I needed to pack light to move forward and upward with more ease. Feliz luna llena, que su luz ilumina tu camino y te guíe. 🌕

[shetheripper]

3 days, 2 nights and 34 miles solo on the Outer Mountain Loop plus the Northeast Rim in Big Bend National Park 1/10-1/12/23

As you might already know, I took a seasonal job as a waitress at the Chisos Mountain Lodge in Big Bend National Park to save money and create some beautiful experiences in the outdoors. It has been a blast! I’ve been able to hike so much and really knock out a lot of goals in solo and distance hiking. The outer mountain loop is a 31.6 mile backpacking route that takes you up from the basin, through the chisos mountains, out and around the range, through the desert, back up into the mountains, and back down into the basin. This is the hike I came here to do.

Photo from all trails.

After a couple months of getting my legs on the trails, as well as tackling more and more distance, I finally felt confident in my ability to complete the route alone.

Due to the distance of the route and the dry nature of the desert, staying hydrated was the biggest challenge to tackle. There are 2 water caches located on either end of the desert stretch, one at Homer Wilson Ranch, and the other off of the remote Juniper Canyon rd. I couldn’t get to this one before my hike because the road conditions require a high clearance vehicle, and y’all better believe I’m still rocking that busted Altima. “I been through the desert in a Nissan with no Bumper” (or whatever America said) So my only option was to pack the extra water, and cache at Homer Wilson, a good 24 miles from my starting point. I carried 7L of water and 2 coconut electroLit beverages. 2.5 lbs per liter. My pack was heavy! But I did what I had to do. Attaching soon a list of what I packed.

1/10/23 Day 1

I woke up around 5 am, without an alarm, and realized I had forgotten my headlamp at the hot springs the night before. This added 46 miles to my morning commute, some of which was on a rocky dirt road. I got the shit scared out of me by some horses that I actually spooked first. Lucky for me, my headlamp was there, right where I left it. I ran back to my car under the last of the moonlight and hauled 30 miles to the basin. I worked a breakfast shift at the lodge and got out around 10:30am. I had to leave this day because I only have 2 days off at a time. My first day of hiking was only 6 miles so I had a little time to kill. I decided to drive back to my trailer and look over all my camp stuff to see if there was anything else I should take. I ended up figuring out how to pack my tent, as I was originally planning not to. So glad I did!! Being solo can be spooky in the dark. It’s nice to have a little barrier. I meditated in my room for a bit after securing my final pack. I felt many things. Excited, nervous, happy, sad, lonely, empowered. I let every part of me be channeled into what I was about to do. Heading back up to the basin, I grabbed a Red Bull and some stoke from Sarah at the gas station. Shout out to the homie. I got back up in the mountains just before noon. I stretched, used the bathroom, and texted parents as well as some friends at the park about where I was going and when I should be back. The last thing I needed before heading out was a tool to loosen the bolt on my hiking pole, so I ran to the maintenance room and got what I needed. Finally, in all my nervous energy, I was ready to start!!! The basin was pretty slow and not many people were around, but still, I felt super awkward putting on my giant pack while a group of teenagers gaped at me from across the parking lot like, “what the hell is that chick about to go do?” I hurried off onto the trail.

Mile 1, 2 and 3 in order.

Like I said before, my pack was heavy, and the pinnacles trail is the steeper route to take up into the mountains. I had a good starting pace but I had to take many breaks. A pair of 2 other girls on the trail helped keep me going, we passed each other on alternating breaks. We agreed it was nice to share the suffering. Hiking isn’t easy for anyone, it’s always a challenge, and that’s why we do it.

I made it to pinnacles pass around 2pm and made a sandwich. I talked with some older folks about my route, different parks, hikes they’ve done, and other general oldhead hiker things. After lunch, they headed down, and I headed up to the Northeast rim. I filtered some water in boot canyon on the way.

I dropped my Patagonia fleece and backtracked a quarter mile to go get it. (This is the second time I’ve done this on trail, different occasions too, smdh. Feels like the universe is trying to teach me a lesson about attachment, I love that thing too damn much.) I got to my site, ER7, around 5pm and made dinner on the rim while bathing in the colorful sunset.

Back at my site, it was the moment I had looked forward to all day, Spliff:30. I enjoyed 1, did some writing and reading from Last of The Mohicans, smoked another, and pretty much passed out as soon as it was dark. The weather was very mild, I didn’t use any cold gear. I slept 12 hours on the hard ground with the wind and stars all around me.

Day 2

I woke with the rise of the sun and packed up in time to see it come up over the horizon, lighting up the desert and cliff walls below me. I started hiking from my campsite at 8:15am.

Tumblr won’t let me add anymore photos so continue on part 2 (next post)

[timtrent]

When I was homeless...

2017 Maybe it was May

I got an addy from a guy on the fone bone phone line

Unlocked door ajar

wade thru the hoarder

shin high debris

What a slob or maybe he’d been robbed? 

Hello? Sam? 

Rustling sounds and a mound of clothes shake like a quake 

“Here”this he speaks “Back here” the obelisk of shorts and shirts long and short sleeves shudders.  I follows the shaken stirrings to a room of  nothing in it empty but the floor covered over with hundreds if not thousands pieces of paper copies inked and smeared like a copy machine had explosive spewing white paper pages of printed slathered scattered all over the floor. Don’t even think about taking one sheet of paper

No place to sit to sleep to read room 4 rent my preemptive euphoria squashed

eclipsed by the matte finish of pages to eat on

no glimpse of mercy, no matter of planning would this place be my space-erase this messy making copies 

no different from whence i came no worse then the next days way i take to other doors prudently prying for a rinse and a ripe without getting found out. the treasure is tawdry, my performance convinces evidenced by his commenced cums in bellowed expletives How did I get here? This much I know:

All this slutting for sleep all this not fucking to eat all this boning for a roof over my head giving head for drugs and a bed next to half dead Fred i left with shame who do I blame? 

My shrink raps at me

"who came up with this plan to hook up with one night stands. as a way to get by? a tweaker in a bath house?”

Went to Moms casita in Camarillo- told her i was being poisoned by the pills prescribed 

“My cleaning lady’s coming tomorrow so you can’t stay here.” she quickly chimed in The Peruvian lady at the bodega on Bixel where i used to live persuaded me to go mi Madre. "Yo mamny take u back." Casualita said

my laundry was still wet in my backpack on the metro link to shack up with i met at the shake shack.

"Lose the bags! Doo doo bird" Seven said

That was his name. He was 23 looked 33. He fell asleep at the wheel more than his name.

"5 bags homo? Seven continued you are so homo with no home with all that...damn dude gay from space that's what u scan man need to be further out than spudick"'

My 5 bags-became 2 and then one was stolen. One I left at the Olive. I was down to no bags. My life stagnantly sagged learned to contain my pain, numb my brain and stayed homeless for two years until one day it rained and the next day it poured. so i. stayed indoors all night and day at the free internet cafe. I  found a place to live that was section 8 and i could afford it and here i remain 3 years and 3 days my my joy was solo and no one else to share my cherish. No one handed me a trophy. No one called me to convey pride. No one sighed relieved. So i am stoic in my self made life. I keep to myself. Yet still i fail and let myself join in again like the story of the little red hen asks the other farm animals to help her to make and bake the bread and no one does. Then when asked to help eat the  bread they said. hell yeah! She cried out “Now ? No way! “  overpowering her they devoured the doughy loaf like locusts

“Hey I was eating… she exclaimed as they consumed her like cake scissoring through her feathers seesawing slicing to her giblets her neck her kidneys and tugged on the valves the aorta squirting last beat of her henny hen hen heart. 

The shame also rises

the same ole stale old grey ole 

dead ole air soiled sofa ole softy yo

ole it’s something yo better then down grass yo

its never easy the stem broke bro sooty so so whats your problem dog shut the fuck up doode

always seedy. reality? He left yesterday. Whats today? He left nothing to waste.

Where’s my phone? 

Never take on some others guys wasted space. 

He left for a reason what was it? Maybe he won on a scratcher? 

He was building a gazebo out of legs from coffee tables Its my wooden legged frames home now I  lost my phone. call me sometime you might find it for me.

I lost my hope ya know then my dope then my car now my phone.ET  no phone no home 

too timid to be kind too scarred to rewind my vhs tapes if my life on analog back before i was a digital no man to follow thru to the linear end of my shift fi fuck that mundane mediocrity waiting tables to spent to serve moscow mules to pin tail drunken donkey longs. 

Hey yeah it’s me i’ve moved up from the gutter to a tent on the lake on the park. I see right through you turning only one eye the other blinded by your Burberry tweed eye patch i got from pilates pull rope bloke i mean broke you granny little organ donor ready you don’t see me now wiping my ass with pages from my diary. 

so dumbo bumps into me and clumps of dirt roll down my canvas hammock my hambone bruises speak in trombone telling who’s to blame for this bashed gambaa reconstructed halo of rods stolen from biker dudes wheel spokes 

to hasten the heal so then i am  a step away from getting up every day from my bed of steps take a Long Hot shower with  Frebreze or Dollarstore cinnamon sitz baths

my shrink quickly shrinkwraps my sick story as scam - i never have to wait tables again2

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 25 (Final)

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 6,716k

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: It’s the end

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this final conclusion of Strawberry Cream and BBQ! Thank you everyone for sticking around and reading this, much longer than anticipated, fic lol.

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

It was with a groan that you set your backpack on the seat next to you, propping your legs up on the basic white coffee table that was placed in front of the couches in their lounges. Classes were officially over and you were free for the next four months until the fall semester. You could do whatever your heart desired.

Instead of hoping into the car and taking the first exit to the beach, you comfortably settled yourself onto the couch and slipped in a pair of blue earbuds. The chatter of college students relieved to be done with the semester and the squeaking of sneakers against the tile floor was silenced by the music playing. More specifically, it was the song that Hoseok had chosen for his solo dance in The Dance Studio’s May show.

“Things are, improving,” Hoseok said. The camera moved on his end and he was briefly out of focus as he adjusted on his bed. It was late and while the two of you should have been sleeping, you wanted to see him one last time.

You forced yourself to smile, running a hand through your hair and wishing that he was playing with it instead. “Enough that we’ll be able to see each other again?” You asked.

Time had been passing slowly since Sue removed Hoseok from your life, and every day that went by felt like a piece of your soul was being ripped to itty bitty pieces. The hope of Hoseok one day walking back through the front door and healing you back together felt more like a dream the longer you were apart. You didn’t want to be dramatic, but that’s how it felt.

The small smile that had been on his face slipped, and you had your answer before he even spoke. “We’re going to be together baby; I promise.”

Hoseok wasn’t the type to feed you empty promises, he always kept his word, but it felt like he wasn’t even sure this time. Whether or not he wanted to admit it out loud, the idea of being together again seemed only possible in dreams.

The conversation always shifted to a new topic that you, or him, quickly came up with until your eyes became too heavy to keep open, and it was only with his coaxing that you got under the blankets and went to bed. He usually ended up promising to not end the video call until you were asleep.

He was trying so hard and you understood why he wasn’t pushing things, but you missed him so much. Which is why you weren’t going home just yet. With school out, there were no more tests and papers to focus your attention on, allowing your mind to wander to these last few months.

Your life had been completely flipped upside down, and yet despite all the worry and trouble, you didn’t regret a single moment. The only thing you wished for was more time. If Hoseok had discovered the truth earlier, there would have been plenty of time to tell Sue, to be together, and to not worry about whether or not there was a future instore for the two of you.

With earbuds in, you didn’t hear Johnny call your name or see him wave his hands to catch your attention. For a good moment, he stood across the room and watched, wondering if you were purposely ignoring him, but when he only sensed your lingering emptiness, he figured that you hadn’t seen him at all.

He sighed, ears twitching underneath the beanie he wore on his head. Unlike a month ago, your emotions were no longer suffocating to the hybrids that attended the college, and more specifically, the ones who shared classes with you.

Johnny remembered the first day you came back after the fight. After skipping classes for two days, you came back on the third. The instant you entered the classroom, him and the few other hybrids in the class had to fight back against their natural instincts to whine and whimper in empathy. Lori, a gentle bunny hybrid, had to leave with her belongings and tears in her eyes because your emotions were so overwhelming.

While the humans in the class barely gave you a second glance, the hybrids were squirming in their seats, their own hearts breaking alongside with yours. Every hybrid learned about mates when they were around fifteen years old – in some rare cases even when they were children if kids found their mates by accident – allowing them to comprehend what having a mate meant. Every hybrid’s worst fear was either having their mate removed from them, and losing their mate to death. And even though Hoseok never died, you were grieving the loss of him no longer being by your side.

It made every hybrid long for their mates whether or not they had met them, simply so they could hug them tight and make sure they were safe.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Johnny headed back to the ice cream vending machine he had passed on the way to the lobby. Luckily, it had been restocked the other day and he knew that you loved a classic ice cream sandwich. The one with the two chocolate chip cookies. He was waiting for the machine to drop the dessert into the pickup slot when a purple sign caught his eye.

It was tacked up on the board among a dozen other posters advertising events on the campus, but this one stood out. In black bold letters, it announced the Dance Studio’s annual May show. It listed some of the groups that were going to be performing as well as some of their well-known soloists. Hoseok’s name was the third one printed out, and with a glance at the date, he grabbed the flyer along with the ice cream for you.

“Hey!” Johnny shouted, ignoring the strange looks he received as he made his way back to you.

With the music playing loudly, you were startled to suddenly hear shouting. Only when you looked up, you weren’t surprised upon seeing that it was Johnny. He didn’t have a filter all the time.

“Why are you shouting?” You slowly asked, zipping the earbuds back into your bag for safe keeping. He didn’t answer you. Instead, once you looked back up at him, he tossed the ice cream sandwich at you, forcing you to react so it wouldn’t hit the wall behind you and break. “Don’t you know it’s rude to throw things?” The packaging crinkled as you tore it open, happily taking out the dessert to munch on.

“And don’t you know it’s rude to not say thank you when friends buy you things?” He settled in the seat next to you, putting your bag on the floor as he mimicked the position you sat in.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, taking a bite out of the ice cream.

Satisfied, Johnny gave you a moment to enjoy the treat before placing the flyer on your leg.

The ice cream was in your mouth when he did that. At first, it looked like another advertisement for Disney Trivia that the student council regularly put on. It was one of the more popular events, especially when they went all out for the prizes. One time, there had been a Michael Kors hand bag as a first place winning.

All it took was reading Hoseok’s name however, for you to realize this wasn’t an on-campus event. Butterflies erupted in your belly as you stared at his name. The Dance Studio usually only listed the names of their most popular dance groups and soloists. To see that Hoseok was the third one to have his name on the flyer, said so much about his dancing abilities.

Johnny silently watched as your thumb absentmindedly ran against the letters spelling out Hoseok’s name, a soft smile appearing. “Why don’t we go?” He gently asked, nudging your shoulder when you didn’t look up. “It starts at seven, plus…I think it’ll do you some good to see him.”

“Sue might be there,” you automatically replied.

His insides cramped up at the mention of Sue. He never had any beef with her before, and it wasn’t like him to automatically dislike someone before meeting and getting to know them, but knowing what she did to you and Hoseok, he couldn’t help but dislike her. As a hybrid himself, what she did was vile and the worst possible thing in the world.

“You can’t let that stop you,” Johnny argued. “He’s your mate, you have the right to be there and to support him for when he goes up on stage. Plus, she doesn’t have to know you’re there. She’s human. She won’t be able to smell your scent like we can.”

He made a decent argument.

Hell, Johnny made an honest argument.

You didn’t have to tell her that you were going to be there. She couldn’t stop you. The Dance Studio was always open to the public and with the show, they encouraged everyone to come out and watch as the dancers performed. Not only to see how hard they’ve been working on the choreography, but because it also helped to raise funds for the building and other miscellaneous things.

Taking another bite of the softened ice cream, you continued to look at the flyer, your heart absorbing the fact that you were seeing his name written out. Jung Hoseok. Your sweet, precious, loving mate, was going to have his chance to show everyone what you already knew he was capable of being: an amazing and incredibly talented dancer.

Were you really going to let your life be dictated by Sue and her anger?

You crumpled up the empty wrapper as you swallowed the remaining ice cream, tossing the wrapper in the trash. It wasn’t until you were back at the couch that you spoke.

Johnny – who was casually taking a deep breath – could smell a difference in your emotions. They weren’t heavy with sadness and fear. For once, they were lifting up with hope.

“Let’s go,” you decided, smiling when you made eye contact with him. He was already grinning from ear to ear. “This is Hoseok’s big night, and we’re going to be there.”

* * *

Hoseok took a deep breath as he stared at himself in the mirror. It was the big night that he’s been waiting months for, and it was finally here. The outfit he had decided to wear was simple: black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees, black sneakers, and an untuck white button up dress shirt with the cuffs unbutton. It was basic and not at all glittery or sparkling under the lights, but that’s exactly what he wanted. He wanted the music and his dancing to speak a thousand words.

Simple, but on purpose.

He was standing backstage waiting his turn. The soloists and groups were alternating their appearances, that way the audience’s attention would remain captive throughout the show. Rocking back and forth on his heels, he smiled when a group of girls in sparkly dresses ran by barefoot, quickly throwing a wave to him over their shoulders. They were regulars at the Dance Studio and usually would have stopped to shout his name, but they were on after his performance, so he understood the rush.

Stepping away from the corner, he neared the edge of the stage and stood next to the stage manager, watching the performance. It was a contemporary dance with students ranging from sixteen to twenty years of age, and while it was beautifully done, his mind continued to wander.

Sue was sitting somewhere in the audience. After arriving, he had gone backstage to get ready and she had gone to get a seat before they were all taken. There had been one year where there was only standing room left.

Even if he closed his eyes and inhaled, he wouldn’t be able to find her in the crowd. There were too many different scents, perfumes, makeup, and snacks floating around in the air, that hers was lost. He could only hope that she hadn’t left.

Then he wondered if you were there. Craning his neck so he could look out into the audience, without being seen of course, he tried to spot you before settling back into the shadows. He had heard once that when a couple was mated, their scents were easily detected even in large crowds like this.

The temptation to try and seek you out was so strong that he contemplated sneaking out to the sidelines to try and find you, but he held himself back. He knew, that you knew how much this meant to him. At the same time, with Sue being here, he hoped that you stayed home. He hated not seeing you, hell, his entire wellbeing needed you by his side, but he couldn’t risk you getting hurt.

The memory of you crying in bed as Sue yelled at the two of you, and then again when you stood at the doorway as he left with her was forever seared into his mind. He had physically been right there and still; he couldn’t protect you. If keeping you away from Sue for the time being meant that you’d be safe, then he was willing to keep you at an arm’s distance even as it killed him.

As the violins came to a sudden finish, Hoseok blinked as he rolled his neck. It was only a few minutes now. Once the kids ran off to the other side of the stage, it was all on him. He had no idea how anyone would respond to his performance. It was darker, and with the exception of a few lines, the song wasn’t even in English. He knew that you had liked the song because of the heart emojis you sent after listening to it, so your response had reassured him a little. Now he was about to find out the truth.

“Just pe-performance jitters,” he murmured to himself.

Shaking his head, he closed his eyes as the audience’s clapping filled the room along with their cheers. The thumping of feet hurrying off the stage reached his ears first before the sudden gasps as the room went dark and the curtains closed. He couldn’t help the little grin when he reopened his eyes and saw the backdrop getting wheeled in place. It was a brick background with cement blocks positioned around the stage meant to look like the underground.

He walked out to the middle of stage and positioned himself on his knees, the squeaking of the curtains recapturing everyone’s attention. With the lights still off, a soothing voice rang out over the speakers.

“My scene, was not specifically this or that, but consisted of having shaken hands with the devil. The devil held me in his clutches. The enemy, was behind me.”

A purple stage light focused on him as the music started to play, light magenta and purple fog entering from both sides of the stage. In that moment, he forgot about everything as he danced. He had been preparing for this for months, each move coming with well-practiced ease that it was second nature. This is what he lived for.

When he did his flip and the audience gasped as the stage was no longer dark, but red and green black light paint suddenly appearing against the floor and background as his white shirt glowed. He wanted to break character and smile like no tomorrow, but he refrained from doing so, especially when he saw fingers pointing at the image of angel wings being reflected behind him for a brief moment, before they too disappeared.

Landing on his knees once more, his chest heaved as the room went black again, ending his performance. It was only dark for a second before the lights turned back on and he was standing up for the cheering of the audience. When he had come out, everyone had been sitting in their seats. This time however, they were all standing.

It was only now that he grinned, waving and bowing while wiping away the sweat that dripped down the sides of his face. The performance was only two, maybe three minutes long, but it felt like a lifetime to him. From coming up with choreography and spending all those extra hours practicing, for those two minutes, it was worth it all the long nights and aching pains he pushed himself through.

Straightening up, he smiled as he took a deep breath to even out his breathing, when his heart suddenly stopped. No. That couldn’t be...he had to be imagining things. Keeping the smile on his face, he slowly made his way to the side of the stage as he inhaled once more, focusing on a single scent.

He hadn’t smelt that scent in a while, but he recognized the smell of strawberry cream as it enveloped his senses.

* * *

As soon as the lights were down for the second time signaling the end of Hoseok’s performance, you were up and wildly clapping for him. There was no way he could see you. The only spots that you and Johnny were able to snag weren’t even seats at all. The two of you were standing against the side wall, but up until Hoseok’s performance, you had been sitting on the floor.

You had been late to arriving and thought you had missed it, but when you were given a program of the performances, you sighed with relief when you saw that Hoseok was going up sixth. It was a little disappointing to miss the opening performances, but as you took the bouquet of roses back from Johnny, it was all worth it.

“He knows,” Johnny spoke, stealing your attention away from Hoseok who was now exiting the stage.

Turning to face your friend, who had forgone the beanie tonight and allowing the tips of his ferret ears to appear, you frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Johnny shook his head as he placed a hand on the middle of your back, guiding you away from the wall. “Hoseok knows you’re here.”

“How?” Despite not knowing the answer, you followed Johnny as he maneuvered his way through the crowed.

Johnny glanced at you before leading you up the stairs to the side of the stage, ducking out of sight of the crowd. “I saw it on his face. It was when he exiting and he stood still for that split second. Because you’re his mate, he can smell your scent in the crowd. He’ll always be able to find you.”

It took a second for what he was saying to make sense, but when it did, it made your heart flutter. No matter what happened, he was always going to find you.

“Do you think we can find him?” You eagerly asked, looking around Johnny’s body in an attempt to find your Hoseok. Just knowing that you were in the same building as him had your body feeling more alive than it has in these last few weeks.

“I can try,” Johnny answered, guiding your backstage. He was already a step ahead of you and had been planning on leading you to Hoseok after his performance. You didn’t know it, but with Hoseok’s scent intertwined with yours, he was able to pick up the faintest scent of Hoseok backstage, and it was growing stronger.

Taking a deep breath, Johnny hurried as the scent led him out to a hallway that was away from the auditorium that the show was being held in. Your footsteps echoed against the tile floor, a vast contrast to the pulsating hip hop music that was currently being played as another group took to the stage.

You stopped moving when Johnny stood still, not entirely sure if the two of you were going in the right direction or not since he didn’t come here often. You knew where you were though. This was the hallway that led to the dance room that Hoseok used to teach his classes. It was the same room that he spent countless hours practicing in, and was the same room that the two of you shared multiple dinner dates in.

Without saying a word, you handed the bouquet to Johnny to hold, and walked to the room. The light was already on as you entered, your eyes watering up as you looked at the mirrored wall.

Standing there like he knew you were going to come, Hoseok smiled as he pushed off the mirror wall.

“Hoseok?” You whispered.

Hoseok nodded, stretching his arms out for a hug as you hurried into his embrace. Hugging you tightly to his chest, he buried his face in your hair as he felt your hands clutch onto the back of his shirt. You were here, you saw him perform, and he was holding you again.

Against his own will, tears slipped out of his eyes as he straightened up, whines escaping immediately at the small distance that only ceased when he picked you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist and without hesitation, he was kissing you like there was no tomorrow.

He was covered in sweat but you didn’t care. All you could think about was how right this, how at home it was to be in his arms, and to kiss him again. Sliding your arms across his shoulders, you held tightly to the man you called your other half, your mate, shivering when he pulled back to kiss your mate mark.

“Oh God you’re here,” Hoseok murmured, his lips still kissing the mark as his arms tightened around you. “I can’t believe you came Strawberry; I’ve missed you so much baby.”

Burying your face in his neck, you hummed in agreement. You were afraid that if you tried speaking that instead of words, tears would be flowing out. Somehow sensing your predicament, Hoseok gently kissed the side of your jaw as he rubbed your back.

He was here and this time, he wasn’t letting anyone split the two of you up again. A soft rumble escaped his chest the longer he held you, the familiarity of your body and scent truly relaxing him for the first time since he was separated from you.

This time, you lifted your head, slowly smiling as looked at Hoseok. His brown eyes warmed your heart as the fire ignited in your veins.

“Um guys, I hate to interrupt but…”

You knew that Johnny wouldn’t have spoken unless it was extremely important, but even though logically you should have listened to him, your heart denied logic as you leaned down to kiss Hoseok once more. It had been too long since you went without his kisses and his touch and right now, you wanted to be selfish and take what he was giving.

Hoseok growled against your lips, tilting his head for the perfect angle. He knew who was there with Johnny, and despite having the heart to heart moment with her, his instincts were still upset that she had split him from his mate. It was his instincts that were enhancing his emotions to take what was his and prove to everyone that you belonged to him and no one else. As barbaric as it sounded, in a way, it was true. You were his mate, and he was yours. Your souls were meant for each other the day you were both born. You weren’t meant to be separated like you had been.

“Don’t worry Johnny,” Sue spoke, her heels echoing as she entered the room. “Let them have their time together.”

In contradiction to her words, your body froze. You hadn’t expected it to be her that Johnny was warning you about, you thought maybe it was a staff member or a wandering performer.

Fear washed over Hoseok, forcing him to break the kiss as he looked up at you. It wasn’t him who was afraid though. Seeing the tears form in your eyes, your bottom lip trembling, he shook his head immediately as his arms tightened even more around you as he felt your legs grip his waist.

“No Strawberry,” he murmured, kissing your mark to reassure you. “I’m not leaving you again baby. I don’t care what happens, but I’m staying with you no matter what. Just relax for me hun. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be okay.”

As you did what he said, he glanced over your shoulder to see Johnny and Sue standing at the entrance. He nodded at Johnny, who based off of his scent, was the same Johnny that he smelled at your apartment all those months ago.

Johnny apologetically smiled as he gestured towards Sue with a small nod of his head, but Hoseok didn’t blame him. It wasn’t his fault that everything had happened. He was just grateful that you had a friend like him around. With the exception of that one time, but that was in the past.

Focusing back on you, Hoseok gently kissed you once you were calmed down, carefully lowering you back on the ground. Like he figured, you pressed against his side as he slid his arm around your shoulders, keeping you close.

Sue, sensing that it was better to approach you now, made her way over. The entire interaction between you and Hoseok hadn’t fallen on blind eyes. Considering everything that she’s done, it was almost surprising that she hadn’t interrupted the second she entered the room.

You watched as Sue stopped in front of you, her hands holding onto the large purse she had sitting on her shoulder. Figuring she wanted Hoseok, you wrapped your other arm across his stomach, gripping on to the fabric of his shirt. It was a pitiful attempt, but if it came down to it, you weren’t letting him go without standing up for yourself.

“Look, I’m just going to get straight to the point here,” Sue said. Releasing on hand, she ran it through her hair as she looked at Hoseok. “You two are mates, and I shouldn’t have separated you from each other. It was wrong of me, and I can see that now.”

Licking her lips, she glanced at you, her eyes softening for the briefest moment before hardening once more. “I hurt you in more ways than I expected, and because of that, I lost two of the most important friendships that I ever had because I couldn’t see past my own pain.

“You don’t know it, but a lot happened in Hong Kong besides the breakup with Colin, and in all honesty, being on my own was actually good. I made a lot of friends there, and I think I had started to find out who I am as a person. Which is why, I’m planning on moving. To Hong Kong.”

The room was silent as her declaration settled in everyone’s mind. Sue was moving, half way across the world. Your mouth dropped open and if it weren’t for Hoseok holding you, you would have fallen on your ass. If she was moving, then was she taking Hobi with her?

As if she knew where you mind was heading, Sue opened her bag and after some ruffling, she pulled out a packet. “While in Hong Kong, I got to start my life over. I wasn’t the girl whose parents died in that car accident. Nobody knew who I was or that I was loaded. Instead, they just knew me as Sue, the girl who was studying abroad in a foreign country. Right now, that’s what I need…because I’m not the same person I was when I adopted Hoseok, nor am I the same person I was before I left. And I need to figure out who I am before doing anything else. So, this is for you.”

Waiting until you removed an arm from Hoseok, she handed the packet to you and took a step backwards. She wasn’t surprised when you gasped, the corner of her lips twitching upwards for a brief moment.

“You’ll see that my signature is in every spot that it’s required for. All you have to do is sign it yourselves and bring it to the courthouse. I already checked, I don’t have to be there when you bring it and they’ll mail the official documents to your address within a period of time after it’s been approved.”

You tightly held on to the paperwork for the Mate Act, leaning into Hoseok’s side even more. With shaky fingers, you flipped through the papers to see that she was telling the truth. Every line that required Sue’s signature was already filled out.

This is what you’ve been wanting for weeks. Ever since Hoseok told you about the Mate Act, really. Blinking, you slowly looked back up at Sue. You didn’t understand where this was coming from. After everything, why was she now changing her mind?

Sue held onto her elbow, looking at the wall behind you as she avoided eye contact with either of you. All the years that you’ve known her, Sue wasn’t usually sentimental. The last time you actually saw her cry had been that day when her parents died. After that, it was like a wall had been built that not even she had been able to break down.

Hoseok carefully took the packet out of your hands, scanning through it himself or otherwise he would think this was simply a dream. He didn’t know what to think. While yes, he wanted to be with you and wanted Sue to sign, it was the sudden decision of her moving to Hong Kong that had him hesitating.

“Where is this coming from?” He asked, feeling your gaze on him as he focused on Sue. “Moving to Hong Kong. You…you never even mentioned permanently moving there, let alone a vacation.”

“I know,” Sue answered. “But I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Ever since I came back actually.” Running a hand through her hair, her face softening as she shrugged. “All I know is that it’s time I focused on myself, and this really is the best way for me to do that.”

Taking a shaky breath, you tried to wrap your mind around what Sue was saying, but it all kept coming back to the fact that she was leaving. “When?” You finally asked.

“Before the start of the new semester. Mid-August. I’ll be putting the house up on the market in June.”

That meant that there were only three more months until she was gone.

“Are, are you sure about this Sue?”

She raised an eyebrow at you. That was a question she had been expecting to come from Hoseok, but the more she thought about it, it made sense that you would want to make sure she was positive about this. Even though she had emotionally detached from your friendship, you always made sure that she was doing okay. Whether it was by bringing her favorite snack and stopping by her house, or a simple phone call and text to check on her. It wasn’t like you to ignore someone else when they weren’t okay.

For the first time, Sue smiled. It was small and a little awkward, but she did it. “Yes. I’m absolutely positive about this. You did an amazing job out there Hoseok, and I really am proud of how far you’ve come with your dancing. Go home with Strawberry tonight, you earned it. I’m going to head back home.”

She had started to step away once more, but before she could make it far, Hoseok moved to her side and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. It shocked her so she didn’t return the gesture right away, but she slowly hugged him back.

“You gave me a whole new life,” Hoseok murmured in her ear, knowing that she was going to take this to heart. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. This last month hasn’t been easy but, I’m gonna miss you. We’re, going to miss you.”

Biting down on the inside of her cheek, Sue kept her tears out of sight as she squeezed Hoseok. The decision to fill out the paperwork hadn’t been easy, but then she remembered how to easily she reminded him that he was just another hybrid, and it made her feel sick inside. He wasn’t less of a person because of his genetics, and she never used to think that way.

Adopting Hoseok had been a major change in her life. So wasn’t moving to Hong Kong. It wasn’t only necessary, but something that she wanted. Besides, he didn’t belong in Hong Kong with her. He had a life, a job, and his friends were all right here in this town. Most importantly, he had you here. She had already tried splitting the two of you up once, and that was a lesson she never wanted to learn the hard way again.

“I’ll miss you too,” Sue whispered back. “But I need to do this for me.”

Hoseok leaned back, sadly smiling as he squeezed her shoulders. “I know. You need to take care of yourself, and that’s all that matters.”

Letting go of Sue, Hoseok made his way back to you. Your emotions were all over the place: One second they were happy, the next they were sad, but ultimately, they were conflicted. On one hand, your best friend was moving away. On the other, she had been the one to hurt you.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. Cupping the back of your head, he gently kissed your temple. “Do what you need to do. I’ll be waiting outside with Johnny by the car.”

You lifted your head, catching his smile before he turned and went to Johnny and walking out into the hallway. Their footsteps and voices carried out in the silence before a door slammed shut, leaving only the two of you in the dance room.

The silence was awkward. Neither of you knew what to say to the other. What was there left to say, after everything that’s happened? Sue was right, she wasn’t the same person she used to be, and neither were you. In these last few months, it wasn’t just the small things that changed. Everything had changed.

“Sue I…” You paused to lick your lips. This was the first real conversation you’ve had with her in a long time, and you wanted to make it right. “I really, really do appreciate this. It means a lot to us. It couldn’t have been easy.”

Sue nodded in agreement; her lips pressed together in thought. With Hoseok, she knew what to say and where they stood, but with you…it was like walking blind. She didn’t want to hurt you anymore than she already did.

“And I’m sorry, that you found out like that. We should have called and told you when we found out.”

“Thank you,” Sue spoke, her voice wobbling for only a second before she regained control of her emotions. “I know I haven’t made things easy for anyone. I just wanted to do something right before I leave. These next few months are going to be busy with preparing to move, finding a place to live in Hong Kong and everything else.”

That makes sense, you thought. “Well, good luck in Hong Kong. Although, I know you’ll do great. You always liked going on adventures.”

It was a weak attempt at an old inside joke the two of you once shared. Sue had always been the more adventurous between the two of you, while you preferred staying in with a close group of friends. The joke resulted in a small chuckle from Sue and that made you smile. There was still a part of her that you knew after all.

Saying goodbye didn’t last much longer after that. Sue left shortly after, leaving you alone in the practice room. With only your thoughts and the paperwork, you took your time walking out to the parking lot. The sound of your heels clicking against the tile floor were comforting as your feet led you out, the path automatically ingrained in your memory.

The interaction with Sue had gone a lot smoother than the last, and you were grateful that it wasn’t anything like last time. Her decision to move away made sense, and speaking from the heart, you were happy she was going. The Sue that had stood there wasn’t the same woman you’ve called your best friend for years now.  Instead of seeing her standing in front of you, it was someone who resembled her and had similar interests, but she was someone you didn’t really know anymore. And you were willing to bet she felt the exact same way about you.

For some reason, that was okay with you.

As the breeze met your skin, your body shivered and your heels weren’t loud anymore, but a thoughtful click against the pavement. It didn’t hurt to think about Sue anymore, and you weren’t sad or angry. A nostalgic feeling settled in your heart as your memories with Sue came to mind, and you decided you liked that better.

“That’s not your car Strawberry.”

Glancing up, you were surprised to see that your feet had led you to a pickup truck. You shook your head in amusement and went to your car, which was parked only two spots over.

Hoseok grinned as he leaned against the trunk, his arms crossed over his chest. “I saw Sue come out, how’d everything go?”

“It went good,” you answered.

He uncrossed his arms as you neared, wrapping them around you to bring you against his chest. With a glance through the back windshield, you saw the bouquet of roses carefully placed on the passenger seat.

“Johnny already headed out,” he explained. “Said he figured that you’d want to head on home and that he didn’t live far from here.”

“Ah.” With the paper work still in hand, you carefully hugged Hoseok once more. After weeks of not being in his embrace, it felt like you were overdosing on all the affection you were receiving from him. “You know, you were amazing on stage. Correction, you’re always amazing when you’re dancing.”

He laughed at your compliments but was quick to rapidly kiss your cheek when you pouted up at him, making you giggle in his hold. “I’m just happy that you came. That’s the only thing that matters to me baby.”

If he didn’t already have it, he should add professional at melting hearts on his resume. You tilted your head and stood on your toes, capturing his lips into a sweet kiss. It was like heaven was brought down to Earth, all just for you.

“Ready to go home?” You whispered, leaning back only a smidge so that you could gently run your nose against his.

Hoseok smiled, his lips curling up into a heart as his hands gave your sides a sweet squeeze. He has been wanting nothing more than to go home with you for so long now. Tomorrow, the two of you could finish signing the paperwork and bring it to the courthouse. Or maybe even the next day. All he wanted was to sleep in bed and hold you in his arms for the next twenty-four hours.

“Strawberry, you are my home.”

You giggled at his cheesy words, but you treasured them anyway. As you got in the car, the flowers now sitting in Hoseok’s lap, you drove with one hand as he held your other, and you were smiling the entire time.

People were like books. There were twists and turns that caught you off guard, and sometimes you were blind to obvious hints that had been purposely placed to surprise you later on. Then you reached that last page, and it was all over.

With real people, it wasn’t the end of the story, but simply just the end of a chapter. There were more pages than you could see, and so the story, and life, continues on.

And having Hoseok by your side, you were ready for that new chapter.

[thanksjro]

The Transformers #23- Chaos Theory Part 2: Everything Ever is Whirl’s Fault, and He Didn’t Even Do Anything This Issue

Before the war, Orion Pax is watching the news. Turns out Nominus Prime got blown up earlier in the day, as Blaster reports from the scene of the crime. We get our first mention of the Militant Monoform Movement as we take a gander at all of Orion’s awards.

Turns out Orion went to college. Wonder what tuition’s like at the Institute of Higher Programming.

An incoming storm messes with the reception, and in walk three guys looking for trouble Whirl. Whirl’s currently in custody, seeing as Orion doesn’t take too kindly to beating suspects within an inch of their life.

General rule of thumb: anyone calling Whirl “popular” or a “friend” is either trying to kill him, or has made the attempt in the past.

So these guys are trying to get Whirl out of jail, using the power of persuasion and being generally threatening. Orion Pax is too much of a good egg to be swayed by such tactics, however, so they’ll have to up the ante.

In the present day, Optimus is having a brooding session in the engine room- I’m only assuming it’s the engine room- and Ratchet checks in.

I suppose “frazzled” is a word we could use, Ratchet, sure.

Optimus feels as if his decision on whether Megatron should be executed or imprisoned for the rest of time is going to be biased either way. Dang, almost sounds like putting it to a vote with the leader of the Autobots would be a better way of handling this, huh Optimus? It’s almost as if you’re compromised here, and we need a little friggin’ democracy going on.

Ratchet asks why he hasn’t consulted the Matrix on this whole situation, breaking out the quotation fingers whilst referring to its wisdom, but Optimus ain’t too sure about all that either. When Optimus first got the Matrix shoved into his body, that shit hurt. It hurt a LOT, and he’d interpreted that as a sort of warning that carrying it was a huge responsibility. Way bigger than taking care of a dog. Now he’s questioning whether or not he actually wants the responsibility.

Hey, if you’re having second thoughts about being Prime, you ought to give Bumblebee a little more room to work and be the leader of the Autobots like you wanted him to be, and maybe consider handing the Matrix back over to Rodimus-

Oh who am I kidding? His martyr complex would NEVER let that happen.

Back in the past, Wheelarch and Springarm are waxing poetic about how cool their new boss Orion Pax is. He’s strong, and heroic, and making a difference in the world, and he’s got just the most beautiful blue eyes-

Anyway, they arrive back at the precinct to discover where all the criminal scum have gotten to- Orion already bagged ‘em.

You know, I think tying suspects to poles in the ground in the office section, packing the room so tightly they can’t even sit or stand comfortably… I think that might be a touch illegal, Orion. Unethical, if nothing else.

A bit later on, Springarm wants to know just what the hell that was all about. Orion’s been thinking about Megatron’s writing, and how he thinks the Senate is institutionally corrupt, and that visit from Whirl’s “friends” is starting to make him think that maybe the guy had a point. It bothers him.

Springarm turns to his faith when he’s feeling bothered by deep questions like whether or not the world government is is enacting a caste-system in an attempt to control the populace.

This just in, the future space pope is a goddamned atheist. Perhaps this is why interfacing with the Matrix hurts him- it relies on a mutual respect between itself and its Prime, and there ain’t nothing less respectful than thinking of the thing as a literal ornament.

Orion thanks Springarm for the advice, but he’s going to work through this without spiritual guidance.

In the present, Optimus meets with Rodimus, and asks a question he’s never been able to ask before: how did it feel to interface with the Matrix?

Well dang, Rodders, tell us how you really feel!

It should be noted that Rodimus does have some level of faith in the gods, the Matrix, the Knights of Cybertron, and several other Cybertronian legends and myths- which sort of makes the MTMTE Knight Quest look like a bit of a crusade, doesn’t it? Does believing in the Matrix let it bond more seamlessly with the bearer? Methinks it just might.

Back in the past, Orion Pax gets back from patrol to find the precinct has been broken into, and his two motorbike boys aren’t doing so hot.

Oh man, Valve’s going to be pissed.

Moving real stealthy-like, Orion moves to the holding cells, where he catches those guys from earlier trying to spring Whirl from jail. Well, two of them anyway. The third guy is behind him, and shoots him in the back.

Luckily, Orion’s old body-frame includes a backpack, and this move doesn’t kill him. He sweeps the leg of his assailant, shoots Whirl in the leg so he can’t escape, then runs to his trophy case to grab the fancy gun someone gave him. Wonder what it was for.

Alas! It’s not loaded. Which you ought to expect from an award gun, unless you loaded it yourself before you put it in the case. Which he didn’t, clearly.

Three versus one, and the solo act doesn’t have any weapons. What’s a guy to do?

This is deeply silly. I adore it.

Thinking quickly, Orion drags Springarm’s headless body into a closet. This isn’t necessarily a smart move, but give it a second. As the three thugs discuss murder-based puns, Orion prepares to enact a Roberts’ writing essential.

Corpse desecration.

Riding his coworker’s lifeless body through the precinct, he runs down his attackers, stabs one of them in the throat with one of his arm cannons in front of all the ‘bots currently in the cells, and goes to find Whirl.

Whirl, who knows to get going while the getting’s good, warns Orion that the Senate has eyes everywhere, and if he so much as touches Whirl his whole life is gonna get turned upside down and inside out, and not in a fun way. And he’d know.

Smash cut to the Grand Imperium, home of the Senate, where everything is blue and gold, fear tactics are at play on the political stage, and everyone is suffering from a nasty case of same-face syndrome. Senator Proteus is about to enact the Clampdown, a strict rule of martial law that will, under the guise of protecting the people and weeding out terrorism, in actuality allow the Senate to hoard power like a bunch of dragons.

Then Orion shows up, after fighting off the entirety of the Senate security force, while carrying a one-legged Whirl.

Got a nice shot of some bird ass, and Orion’s honkers are halfway out. I wonder if this particular chunk of fan-service was specified in the script, or if this is purely Milne.

Sentinel calls off the dogs, and Orion has his say. He throws Whirl on the floor, introducing him to everyone as the cause of every problem ever. Well, not really, but pretty close.

Orion, you can’t just say a guy caused two people to die and then not expect to have to deal with the repercussions of pummeling his psyche at some point down the road.

Orion goes on to mention Megatron, bringing up his writings and how they revealed to him the dark, ugly underbelly of the Senate that he’d been blind to until that point. This is still the guy who arrested drug addicts for using and tied them to a pole, by the by. He’s less than 48 hours into this Megatron kick, and still got a lot to rectify within himself.

Orion coins the term “Autobots”, reclaiming a friggin’ slur the other races in the galaxy have taken to calling the Cybertronians.

I wasn’t kidding.

The Senate members are starting to get rowdy about being called out on their bullshit, and have Orion removed from the building, but not before he can ask Megatron’s three questions:

1. In whose interests do the Senate exercise their power?

2. To whom is the Senate accountable?

3. How can the populace get rid of them?

No answers are given, as he’s taken away. He did use Megatron’s name, by the way. His full one, with the “of Tarn” attached and mentioned where he worked. Smooth moves, Orion. Now Megatron’s going to be targeted for politically-charged murder.

In the present, Optimus Prime’s made a decision on what exactly to do with Megatron- and his decision is to let Megatron decide his fate, because freedom is the right of all sentient beings, and part of that is getting to choose your fate.

Megatron picks death, like, immediately.

Optimus gets the Matrix back from Ratchet, who he left its care in- he wanted to be sure that he was still the person he had been back when he made that speech to the Senate. Glad your crisis of self went well, Optimus.

Back in the past, Orion Pax meets with a senator in front of the Ark-1 memorial, very secret-like. See this senator’s seen all the nonsense that goes on in the Senate, and he’s about had it. Forget what all Megatron wrote about, it’s way, way worse in reality. He can’t prove it, but the attack on Nominus Prime was an inside job, so that the Senate could get their hands on the Matrix and figure out how it creates life.

I know, it’s crazy.

Things will probably pop off very soon, so the Senator’s taken the liberty of modifying Orion Pax’s chest cavity while he was passed out receiving repairs.

So the guy made a little hidey-hole for the Matrix in Orion’s body, so that he could one day be Prime.

Hey.

Hey, Senator.

Consent is sexy, man. Don’t be like that.

[guernsey-island]

Please answer 1-98 >:3

Weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?      water bottles 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?      chocolate bars 3. bubblegum or cotton candy?      cotton candy, though I don't like either very much 4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?      I don't know 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?      plastic cups??? 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?      sportswear I guess 7. earbuds or headphones?      I only have earbuds right now, but I like both 8. movies or tv shows?      tv shows, but that doesn't mean I don't like movies too 9. favorite smell in the summer?      the ocean 10. game you were best at in p.e.?      capture the flag 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?      whatever I can find 12. name of your favorite playlist?      "Good Songs :D" 13. lanyard or key ring?      key ring 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?      I don't particularly like any non-chocolate candy. Too artificial and sweet :/ 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?      Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes 16. most comfortable position to sit in?      leaning back and with my legs out 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?      white converse 18. ideal weather?      raining or a mild temperature like 80 degrees F paired with high humidity 19. sleeping position?      I fall asleep on my side and wake up on my back 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?      Google docs heheh 21. obsession from childhood?      I was one of those warrior cats kids (no, I didn't pretend to be warrior cats at recess) 22. role model?      Snickers 23. strange habits?      popping my back, checking sunset/sunrise times 24. favorite crystal?     all crystals are great 25. first song you remember hearing?      Counting Stars by OneRepublic 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?      hiking 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?      reading 28. five songs to describe you?      Modern Loneliness- Lauv // Scared of Heights- Loving Caliber // backpack- slchld // By Now- Will Jay // Come True- khai dreams, Forrest., Biskwiq 29. best way to bond with you?      don't annoy me 30. places that you find sacred?      the beach when no one is there or deep in the mountains 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 32. top five favorite vines?      road work ahead, jared 19, damn daniel, 2 bros chillin in a hot tub, x files theme 33. most used phrase in your phone?      probably >:3 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?      that spotify ad about peter and jumping/skipping rope. IF you knew what an 8track tape was!! 35. average time you fall asleep?      ~2:30am 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?      the pepe the frog memes 37. suitcase or duffel bag?      suitcase 38. lemonade or tea?      lemonade but tea is also superb 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?      lemon cake bc I've never had lemon meringue pie 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?      I don't really remember. Let's go with Mr. Rightmyer and Mr. Mikow in general (ig matrix_multiplication). or maybe the time Sami put a lamp on her head and pretended to be Shaggy 41. last person you texted?      Snickers 42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?      jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?      hoodie 44. favorite scent for soap?      hmmm something tropical 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?      sci-fi 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?      clothing 47. favorite type of cheese?      swiss or colby jack or parmigiano-reggiano 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?      peaches bc they're the best fruit 49. what saying or quote do you live by?      "you become what you think about" "success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal"- Earl Nightingale "the opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity" "sanity and happiness are an impossible combination"- Mark Twain "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading"- Lao Tzu "failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough" - Og Mandino 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?      let's go with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TilHylia7rE and more recently, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voncdcV648g 51. current stresses?      upcoming exams, writing essays 52. favorite font?      My current favorites are Frank Ruhl Libre, Overlock, and Rajdhani 53. what is the current state of your hands?      good, though I perpetually have a bump on one finger from writing too much 54. what did you learn from your first job?      job?? what job? 55. favorite fairy tale?      three little pigs 56. favorite tradition?      sleeping 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?      I don't know 58. four talents you’re proud of having?      Freestyling (ground moves and juggling), shooting knuckleballs, popping my back really well, running a 5-6 minute mile 59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?      I don’t know what my catchphrase would be 60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?      a shonen where the protagonist is trying to survive in a crazy world, become the best at something, or master some special power (examples: tower of god or solo leveling if it was an anime) OR something with a mafia 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?      "Well, if you only knew how little I really know about the things that matter"- Elio in cmbyn the movie (think about this quote all the time) "Let us cultivate our garden"-Candide in Candide by Voltaire “The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas.”- Sinclair in Demian by Hermann Hesse “I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?”- Sinclair in Demain by Hermann Hesse “Know yourself and go in swinging.”- More than this by Patrick Ness “Just leave me alone. I’m not myself. I’m falling apart, and I don’t want you here.”- Charlie in Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Tons of quotes and references from Arthur, httyd, and other media 62. seven characters you relate to?      Lance (vld), zuko (atla), okonkwo (things fall apart), nwoye (things fall apart), bokuto (haikyuu), sinclair (demian), hiccup (httyd) 63. five songs that would play in your club?      Wednesday Girl- Elijah Who, Aso, Peachy!, Kudasaibeats, slchld // Way Back Home- SHAUN, Conor Maynard, Sam Feldt // Let Me Down Slow (Acoustic)- New Hope Club // Crush Culture- Conan Gray // All Night Long- TAEYEON, LUCAS 64. favorite website from your childhood?      animal jam 65. any permanent scars?      I have a ton of scars on my legs and knees. I ran into a cart at staples once and have a big scar from that. I have a few scars on my elbows too 66. favorite flower(s)?      columbine (CO state flower) 67. good luck charms?      none 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?      I have no idea 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?      I don’t know 70. left or right handed?       right 71. least favorite pattern?      cheetah or zebra print 72. worst subject?      hmmm biology but only bc I don't put in the effort 73. favorite weird flavor combo?      I don't know. I like food 74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?      I don't think I've experienced enough pain to accurately answer this question. I've only taken ibuprofen once (when I got my wisdom teeth taken out), but I didn't think it was that necessary to take 75. when did you lose your first tooth?      probably when I was six 76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?      scalloped potatoes, hash browns, Spanish tortillas, potato salad, mashed potatoes 77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?      aloe vera 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?      sushi from a grocery store 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?      school ID 80. earth tones or jewel tones?      earth tones 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?      they're called fireflies 82. pc or console?      pc 83. writing or drawing?      writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?      podcasts 84. barbie or polly pocket?      no 85. fairy tales or mythology?      mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?      cookies 87. your greatest fear?      Accidentally biting off my tongue and then choking on it, seeing things in mirrors, being stabbed with a knife as I enter a hotel elevator, receiving emails 88. your greatest wish?      Happiness??? I don’t know 89. who would you put before everyone else?      Snickers 90. luckiest mistake?      I don't know 91. boxes or bags?      boxes 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?      sunlight 93. nicknames?      let's not talk abt that,,, 94. favorite season?      spring or summer 95. favorite app on your phone?      google play books, goodreads, tumblr, kakaotalk, spotify, google keep 96. desktop background?      it's a slideshow. the background at the moment is a photo of Manarola, Italy taken by Peter Hegedus. It's one of my favorite photographs of all time 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?      three not including 911 (so four) 98. favorite historical era?     1300s in the Mongol empire or around when the spice trade was at its peak, 1800s in America during westward expansion, 1920s, ancient egypt, Harlem Renaissance 

[searchingwardrobes]

Someone to Watch Over Me: 11/26

I meant for this chapter to be longer, but after three days in bed and feeling worse, I finally went to the doctor where they put me on codeine cough syrup among other things, and well, I wasn’t sure how long I would be upright at my computer . . . I wanted to get an update to all of you on this story if it killed me after so long of a wait. I just hope this narcotic influenced mess makes sense. And yes, that says 26 chapters up there. I’ve got this all outlined finally, so I hope you’re all in it for the long haul!

Summary: Emma Swan is ten when she first sees the pair of bright blue eyes watching her from the cracked door of the wardrobe. She thinks it was just an imaginary friend, until she sees those eyes again at 16 and 23.

Nominated for Best Canon Compliant / Canon Divergent MC WIP in the OUAT Fandom Awards.

Rating: T

Trigger warning: attempted rape and violence in chapter two (but not graphic)

Words: 1,500 and some change (in this chapter)

You can read it from the beginning on Ao3

Tagging @kmomof4 @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snidgetsafan @kday426 @thislassishooked @bethacaciakay @teamhook @delirious-latenight-laughs @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @vvbooklady1256 @mythologicalmango @shireness-says @let-it-raines (If anyone wants to be added to this tag list, please let me know!)

 The first time Killian Jones kissed Emma Swan at the age of ten, he had felt as if his heart might explode and his face might permanently be tinted red. It was such a brief brush of his lips against her cheek, but that cheek had been the softest thing he’d ever felt in his life. Granted, his was a life filled with very little that was soft or warm or tender, but Emma Swan’s skin against his lips was special all the same. He’d lain wide awake the rest of the night, replaying it in his mind, his face still flushed at the thought of it.

Time the next day had seemed to crawl as he counted the minutes, the seconds, until he could see her again. His heart had crashed when he found her room empty, her bed cold. He should have known as soon as he saw the little stuffed rabbit. It was a kind gift, and it was soft, and it smelled of her. When his captain had tossed the silly plaything, as he called it, far out into the waves, Killian had watched the little ball of white fluff with the bright pink ribbon float away from him until it was a tiny speck on the horizon. With it, he felt hope shrink as well. His would forever be a life of sharp edges and hard callouses. Liam’s occasional embraces and slaps on the back meant the world to him, but they weren’t soft like the rabbit.

Or like Emma’s cheek. Her hair.

Killian the man turns his head upon the soft pillow in his bed at Granny’s to bury his nose in Emma’s hair. He pulls her close against him, his mind still partially lingering in sleep where he saw the boy he was look longingly at that silly bunny bobbing on the waves. He couldn’t know then how the wardrobe would take him back to Emma again, and the man he is can scarcely believe his good fortune. He runs his hand along her arm, coming to rest at her hip where he draws small circles with his fingertips. So soft. Emma hums and turns in his arms, nuzzling her nose into his collar bone as he inhales her scent.

“You’re brooding,” she mumbles against his skin.

“No, I’m thinking. There's a difference.”

She pulls back slightly to look up at him sleepily. “Mmm, really?”

“Aye,” he explains, brushing her nose with his, “brooding involves dark thought, and my thoughts this morning are bright.”

She runs her hands up his chest. “And what bright thoughts do you have this morning?”

He runs his fingers through her hair, breathing in her wonderful scent. “How soft you are. Your hair, your skin. When I was a boy, that’s one of the things that captivated me. How soft your cheeks were against my lips. How soft your hair.” He presses a lingering kiss to her right cheek, and she giggles.

“I don’t recall you touching my hair. Not when we were ten.”

“I could just tell it was soft,” he mumbles against her jaw.

He trails kisses lower, down the column of her neck, then to her collar bone. She moans in a deeply satisfying away, her fingers carding through his hair, but then the clock radio on the nightstand begins to beep and her moan turns to a frustrated one instead.

“Shit,” she mutters, throwing back the covers.

Killian sits up, thrown a little off-kilter by the sudden change. “You set the alarm?”

“Yeah,” Emma mutters as she sifts through the shopping bags she had never unpacked yesterday, “I’ve got to catch Henry before he heads to school.”

“Oh,” Killian nods, “is this about Bae – er, Neal?”

“For one,” Emma replies as she hooks the clasp of her bra. Killian tries to concentrate on her words as she shimmies into a pair of leggings, though the bounce of her breasts make thinking a little difficult. Those are soft too. “I also need to talk to him about the newspaper article. Knowing Regina, she’s made sure he’s seen it.”

Emma pulls a sweater over her head, but before she can head for the bathroom, he reaches out and pulls her back down to him. She yelps and smacks him in the chest.

“You can’t toss a six-month pregnant woman around like a barrel of rum, pirate!”

He chuckles as he presses a quick kiss to her lips. “Sorry, love, you just are so damn beautiful this morning.” He then brushes her hair out of her face and then cups her cheek with his hand. “And don’t worry about Henry. He has a big heart. Even if he is upset or hurt, I have a feeling it won’t change how much he loves you.”

Emma smiles, grasps his face in her hands, and presses her forehead to his. “Have I told you that you’re the best husband in the world?”

He looks smug as he replies, “Only about a thousand times.”

“Then make it a thousand and one.”

*************************************************

Emma stands nervously about a block from Granny’s, yesterday’s paper clutched in her hands. She had tried sitting on the bench to wait, but the morning cold seeped through her leggings, and her nerves are fidgety, so she’s ended up pacing up and down the sidewalk instead. When she sees Henry heading her way, her heart rises up to her throat.

“Hey kid,” she tells nervously.

“Hey, Emma.”

She gestures to the bench nearby. “Can we talk?”

He glances over her shoulder. “I can't miss my bus.”

“I’ll be quick, I swear.”

He shrugs his shoulder, removes his backpack, and plops down beside her. He doesn’t seem upset, so that’s a good sign. He surprises her by speaking first.

“If this is about the story in the paper, it’s okay.”

Emma blinks. “It is?”

“Yeah, I mean, now I understand even more why you gave me up. You couldn’t take care of me in jail.”

She smiles in relief and grasps his hand. “That’s it exactly, Henry. If I had kept you, they would have put you in foster care until my sentence was up, but you could be adopted right away. And even when I got out, there was no guarantee a judge would see me as a fit mother. Young, no job, do . . . do you understand?”

He nods. “I do, really.”

She glances down at the paper in her hands. “But, that’s not all, Henry. I mean, I never wanted you to be ashamed of me, or disappointed. I know you thought I was a hero, but I’ve made mistakes, and -”

“A lot of heroes have a tragic backstory. Han Solo, Ant-Man, The Green Arrow . . . some even did bad things.”

Emma smiles. “You into comic books?”

Henry grins. “Yeah, my mom – I mean, my other mom, she isn’t too crazy about them, but she buys them for me anyways.”

Emma frowns. “How are things at her house, Henry? Are you sure you’re still okay living there?”

Henry deflates a little and stares into his lap. “I know it was her who put that stuff about you and Hook in the paper. And she’s always telling me you won’t love me like she does. That’s hard, but . . . I know she loves me. As much as she can.”

Emma puts her arm around him, then almost weeps as he turns in her arms to hug her tight. She means to say something comforting, but the words won’t come. Instead, Henry mutters something against her shoulder.

“Grandpa told me that Hook killed those men to save you.”

Emma pulls back, her eyes wide with surprise. “He did?”

Henry nods. “I was real upset when I saw the paper. I ran off to the loft.” He shrugs. “I didn’t really know where to go.”

“Hey,” Emma assures him, “they’re your grandparents. You can go to them any time you want.”

“That’s what they said. Grandma gave me some cocoa.”

“Good. So if things at Regina’s ever make you feel uncomfortable or scared, you can go to them or come to me. Okay?”

He nods. “Okay. But if I stay with her, it will keep everyone safe.”

Emma bites her lip. She doesn’t want to put Henry in the middle. Regina may be the enemy of her and her parents, but she’s also the only mother Henry’s ever known. She’s the one he’s gone to when he was afraid or sick or upset ever since he was a baby. She doesn’t want him to feel guilty for that or feel he has to choose sides.

“That’s very brave of you, Henry,” she finally says hesitantly, “but we’re the adults. You’re the kid. It’s our job to take care of you, not the other way around. Okay?”

He smiles and nods, “Okay.” He reaches for his bookbag then, and Emma knows she needs to get to the other topic. The harder one.

“Um, Henry, there’s one more thing -”

“Is this him?”

Emma startles at the sound of the familiar voice behind her. She turns and rises from the bench, her eyes wide to see Neal standing there.

[alittleroseandhoneyblog-blog]

Real Life Recess

The idea of being mindful—or being present, being more conscious of life as it happens—may seem contradictory to those who are used to sacrificing living for pursuing their goals but cultivating mindfulness will help you achieve your goals and help you enjoy life more. In fact, you’re more productive when you’re mindful – and when your body is feeling less anxious it reduces stress and lowers blood pressure.  When you are mindful and able to live more in the moment you can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened, you are more aware and excepting of your weaknesses- which reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that is associated with depression, binge eating and attention problems, mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic and more secure which could also lead to more satisfying relationships with friends and family.

So, if being mindful and being present and more conscious of life in the moment can create a recipe for a more fulling life and - on paper seems like such an easy thing to do then why are there so many stressed out people out there who work more then they live for themselves or more importantly when was the last time you took a shower that didn’t feel rushed because you had something more important to do (like raising a child?)

How on earth do we become more mindful?

I remember growing up, every morning I would hear my mama’s alarm go off and I would hear her get out of bed and find her way to the kitchen where she would sit at the table quietly sipping on her freshly brewed coffee and after about half hour she would then shower and get ready for work, she did this every morning until I moved out and you would think that would have taught me some sort of structure but I am lucky if I even remember to set my alarm clock and 9 times out of 10 I am rolling out of bed at 20 after 8 rushing to get Colton to school on time (which we are getting better at).  I wish I was that person that could get up with sun but this girl is not a fan of early mornings and I don’t drink coffee so my mornings consist of running around like a crazy person, waking up a 7 year old, getting him dressed, making him breakfast – reminding him 17 times to brush his teeth, to put socks on all while trying to put together a healthy lunch (this is where I wish I had more then two hands) and when I finally feel like I have everything under control and his backpack packed and ready to go, I score the last 10 minutes to myself- just to put clean underwear on! Lol And up until about 6 months ago I had the mentality that being productive meant working 12 hour days and coming home to cook, clean and parent- I made zero time for myself and when I did I was more concerned with the work that would pile up in my absence. My days would start as chaotic as they ended – and I struggled to find time to even get the oil in my car changed within 3 months of the expected change date, but that was my normal and I had accepted that. I started working at 15 and I was managing my own retail store by 17. I went onto bigger and more amazing things throughout my 20’s to now and I have worked really hard to get where I am- but I believed that in order to be successful I needed to dedicate myself to work – at whatever cost (which I realize now was my own happiness)  

Looking back now, I wonder what my mom was thinking about in that half hour of caffeinated bliss, was she planning the day ahead, what we were going to have for dinner, what bills were coming out that week or was she simply just enjoying 30 minutes of pure silence before her own chaotic day started?

I have started taking an hour to myself everyday (sometimes two) however I am not in need of that hour to plan my day or drink my coffee - I have learned that in my life, I can no longer plan ahead because… well… “shit just happens” and if you can’t learn to roll with the punches then the anxiety of not being prepared (for me at least) takes control - I have had to learn to let go of the “what ifs” (like “what if” I picked up that call- the not knowing drives me absolutely bonkers) but I’ve spent a lot of time reminding myself that life is full of what ifs and maybe we should spend more time taking risks and just accepting whatever happens, BUT anxiety is a bitch like that – doesn’t wait for the welcome mat to be rolled out before it pushes its way in.

So as my mama would say “why borrow trouble” – and, I find myself repeating this daily.

After I quit my job I got stuck in this routine of dropping Colton off at school, and going straight to the gym where I would stand and chat with the girls for about 20 minutes, workout for an hour (or dance) massage, chat with the girls (again) only to leave to come home to do the dishes, clean the house, feed the fish, do the laundry, pick up Colton, make dinner and so on, from there it was just on repeat- I became a “house hold CEO” I managed my house like I did my gym because I was so lost and the only thing I knew how to do was work – and at no time did I think to myself, “hmm, maybe I should stop and think about what I need for once”-

How terrible is that- one of the worst things I could be going through right now and I still couldn’t put myself first.

Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

But slowly things have started to change, I am no longer worried about having to go home to clean or cook or pick up Colton every day and so that leaves me with a few more hours to do things for myself and although my mornings stay fairly consistent, my day to day has really changed – I took a solo trip to Ikea, I walked around every room and just took in all the quiet- the drive was probably my favourite part- no where to be, and no 7 year old child yelling at me to put “loud night” on lol- and even though I have done that drive about a thousand times – everything seemed so fresh! But that is part of the problem, we simply cannot live in the moment, when we are at work we fantasize about being in warmer climates and when we are on vacation we worry about all the things we aren’t doing while we are being “lazy” on a beach somewhere, I still stressing out over things I know are not getting done at a job that isn’t even mine anymore -  we dwell on intrusive memories either from the past or things we may stress about for our futures.  We become mindless that we stop paying attention to the things around us that we should be taking the time to appreciate, we go about our morning routines in a haze because we’ve done it a thousand times and so we stop being mindful.  

Here is what I do know and the only thing I can 100% plan for - my day is going to start at least 20 minutes late hectic from the second it starts and I am going to question if we will make it for the bell (still snap a quick selfie (late or not) because well, it’s me) and as we get there we will hear the first bell ring and he will start running towards door with his little back pack on which is half the size of him and I will casually stroll behind him because I know he is going to get half way there and run back for a quick kiss from mama (leaving him even more late, lol) and then within a few seconds he is gone I can tell you that chaos is my favourite part of the morning (HE is my favourite part of our mornings) - But the need to have a plan or at least have an idea of what to expect used to consume me at least 23/7 (yes, even when I am sleeping) and I would be lying if I said my anxiety didn’t get the best of me every time I found myself in new environments/situations without having a plan of being there – I can say I may not have this down pat yet, but something I am working on.

So finally, last week Andrea, Ankush and I went to Toronto to check out this place called HideSeek they call it an “immersive pop up experience inspired by childhood nostalgia” and let me tell you- its description meets the experience- from 90’s pop music to rooms full of beautiful childhood colors like pinks, whites and oranges I felt like a kid again (and going with Andrea and Ankush just made the experience that much better) Ankush, beside being just a really good friend is also an amazing photographer who was wonderful enough to take some photos of us while we explored this indoor adult playground-the rooms were all really interactive and we were the only people in there so we took our time and among 600 beautiful photos to show for it the three of us had a BLAST, I have not laughed so hard in years – and the moments he was able to capture on film are a serious reminder that being mindful and humble and appreciative for the moments we are in happens to be SO much more fulfilling then always planning the next step.

So, to answer the question above, how do you become more mindful? It’s simple really, you give yourself your own 30 minutes of caffeinated bliss - a “real life recess” – whatever works for you! 

[tappersia]

Iran Travel ExperienceBy Manon Tazelaar

In 2018, I started my solo backpacking trip back to the middle east, I had fallen in love with the region years before. However, I had never been to a very special and truly unique country of that region yet, Iran. I have met numerous people who had visited Iran and had completely fallen in love with the country. Statements such as, “Iran is my absolute favourite country!” was something I literally kept hearing continuously. What was so special about this country that everyone kept pouring out all their love for it to me?

I have never been the one to base my decisions upon news headlines, but you can’t deny the fact that Iran doesn’t have that great of an image in the Western world, this creates a lot of confusion around the country. You will notice that misled perspective from the first moment you will tell the people around you about your upcoming travel plans. Common questions will definitely be, “But is Iran safe?”, “Is Iran not in war now?”, “Do you have to wear a burka?” “Are you not scared that someone is going to kidnap you?”.

When it comes to making a decision regarding a new travel destination, my all-time number one rule is to never factor in anyone’s opinion who has not been to the country themselves. With that said, the decision was super easy! The people who had not visited Iran said NO and the people who had been there said, HELL YES!

Travelling to Iran Solo?

Travelling solo has always been my favourite way of travelling, the flexibility and absolute freedom of just you and your backpack is something truly priceless. However, if solo travel is not your cup of tea, not to worry, Iran is home to many great tour guides and tour companies who would love to help you organize a stress-free trip to Iran.

The most common question I get is if Iran is safe for a solo female traveller. I can honestly say that from all my solo travels, Iran is a country in which I never had to worry for a second about a single thing: a place to sleep? Food? Any kind of other trouble? absolutely nothing. I never felt unsafe in any kind of way during any time of day in Iran.

I don’t like to generalize but in this case, I will make an exception: Iranians are the absolute most hospitable, generous and friendliestpeople I have ever come across. As a matter of fact, whenever someone would figure out that I was travelling alone they always felt this great sense of responsibility for me and therefore, always tried everything in their power to make sure I was okay. Travelling here made me feel like a true princess and has shown a beautiful and hopeful side of humanity, where people are so genuinely kind and helpful towards each other.

Needless to say, as in every country you have to use your common sense and intuition when it comes to safety as a female travelling alone, the same thing goes for Iran.

How do I get an Iranian Tourist Visa?

There are different ways through which you can obtain your visa for Iran, either you apply for a Visa on Arrival (VOA) or you can do it beforehand at an Iranian embassy in any country.

I went for the Visa on Arrival which was quite easy to obtain if you omit the 4-hour waiting time at the immigration office. I have heard many people who had used the service of travel agencies who will do all the visa application hassle for you and therefore save you a lot of time, both before your trip and at the airport in Iran.

Prices for a tourist visa vary depending on the country of residence, my Visa on Arrival – being a Dutch citizen – cost me €50,- in 2018.

Planning your Trip to Iran

When it comes to planning your trip to Iran, there are many ways to do so. Personally, I am a lover of unplanned travels and especially when it comes to Iran, it is almost a must! You should expect invitations on every street corner, everyone would love to invite you over for a tea, lunch or just a simple chat. Iranians are widely-known for their amazing hospitality. It is highly recommended to leave some room in your itinerary for these friendly invitations to happen.

Additionally, if you think the Iranian hospitality cannot take on any higher levels, then surely venture out to surrounding villages. The kindness of the people there is as if they are coming from another planet, it is something I have not experienced before.

Iran has a lot to offer, stretching from stunning divers landscapes, countless UNESCO World Heritage sites dating back to all different dynasties, culturally rich and home to the most amazing widely-known poets such as Rumi, Ferdowsi and Hafez. Mentioning all the above, a trip to this part of the world might need some researching and some slight planning if you don’t want to miss some of the best parts of the country.

For history lovers Iran is a special treat, although the history of Ancient Persia and everything leading up to the shaping of today’s Iran will need some proper comprehensive reading, it is still highly recommended to do so. With the 23 UNESCO World Heritage Sites which Iran has to offer, you don’t want to miss out on the full context of this beautiful country’s history.

Having that said, a traditional 2-week travel route is the following: Tehran – Kashan – Isfahan – Shiraz – Yazd. However, Iran is huge and has multiple diverse ethnic groups and cultures which will change with the kilometers passing, so definitely research and plan your trip according to your interests.

What to Wear in Iran

I loved spending some mornings sitting on a bench and looking at all the diversity on the street. The sights will vary from women wearing a black chador (a traditional Iranian conservative dress) and right next to them seeing young ladies pushing the limits with a headscarf covering just a tad bit of hair, dressed in colourful and rather tight clothes. It is an interesting contrast which can fill my day easily by just looking at daily life passing by in front of my eyes.

Regarding the dress code, it is important to bear in mind that Iran is an Islamic country with its rules and traditional values. Due to this, there is a specific dress code that everyone has to live up to when travelling to Iran. The dress code includes a headscarf and wearing rather loose clothing that covers the body. However, it is not as strict for tourist as you might think, loosely draping a scarf around your hair is what most of the girls around here do. You will notice quite soon how this stereotype of Iranian women is far from the truth. In fact, fashion, makeup, and overall outer appearance are actually very important among all Iranians.

Ultimately, every female traveller I encountered during my trip told me that they weren’t bothered by the dress code at all. They actually quite liked to dress so differently than what they are used to, for some weeks.

Additionally, for men, it is quite easy as the only things you should not wear are shorts and tank tops, almost everything else is completely fine.

It is always best to have a quick look at what the locals are wearing and just mimic that. Whenever you are travelling somewhere new, you don’t want to dress in a way that draws unnecessary attention to you.

Transportation in Iran

I have to admit, from all the countries I have visited, the long-distance buses in Iran are the absolute best! What can I possibly say? A separate chair, which you can turn into a bed (with more than enough space for you to not bother the person behind you), free lunchboxes, unlimited supply of free water bottles and all for an extremely low price.

With all pleasure, I have taken multiple bus rides in Iran with a duration from 19 hours up to even 25 hours and I loved every part of it. The comfort and the stunning changing scenery all whilst snacking on some Qottab (my favourite Iranian snack) has turned into a new hobby for me.

Additionally, the metros in Iran are great with its overall luxurious feel and most importantly, It is easy to navigate through due to all the metro stops being displayed in English. You can buy a cheap metro card and top it up in the station and off you go.

You can also go for buses in big cities, which are cheap and easy as well. Keep in mind that all public transportation is segregated in Iran. There is a section for women and a section for men, but this is very easy to figure out.

What about Hitchhiking in Iran?

Hitchhiking is something quite uncommon in Iran. In fact, many Iranians have no clue about the act of hitchhiking at all. This can make the hitchhiking experience either a fun adventure or difficult and confusing, depending on the type of traveller you are. I have hitchhiked twice in Iran, it was such an interesting experience compared to the other countries where I have hitchhiked. Almost every car stopped, but mostly just to ask us if we needed money for a taxi, or if they could bring us to the bus terminal and buy us a bus ticket. When we tried to explain it, most of them didn’t really understand it at all. For me, that is the best part! Be prepared to make lots of new friends on the road, again.

TIP: On any occasion but especially during your hitchhiking adventures, withhold yourself from making the thumbs-up signal which in Iran has the same meaning as sticking up your middle finger. Although the younger generation understands the different meaning this signal has, it is still better to try and avoid it.

Iran is the only country where no one tries to screw you over

One last thing that happily surprised me a lot during my travels in Iran, is the fact that no one ever tried to screw me over. Whereas other countries, it is almost impossible to pay the local price for anything. Iran is one of the very few countries where they won’t ever do so – except for taxis but that is an unwritten rule, I guess.

Something that might make Iran’s financial world a bit tricky is the fact that Iran has two currencies, one which is the spoken one called Toman and one which is the official currency which is called Rial (IRR). It took me some time to get the hang of it but here is an easy way to remember; each Toman is equal to Ten Rials (1 Toman = 10 Rials). That means by dropping one zero from Rial you have it’s Toman equivalent.

Another thing to bear in mind is that due to economic sanctions, it is impossible to withdraw any money – meaning, other currencies – during your stay in Iran. This means you have to bring all the money you need for your whole trip in cash. Luckily, there are some trustworthy travel agencies who offer specific tourist cards which you can top up before and during your stay in Iran. These travel cards are usable like a normal bank card you can withdraw Iranian Rials and you can pay with the card everywhere.

Get yourself familiar with “Ta’arof”

To keep yourself out of uncomfortable situations, get yourself familiar with the Iranian politeness game called Ta’arof. Ta’arof is a form of over politeness, offering everything the other might desire. This politeness is fully embedded in the culture. In most cases, the person offering something major is most likely already expecting the other person to refuse. However, doing this with people who are not familiar with it could lead to awkward situations.

Here are a couple of examples which could be Ta’arof:

If a taxi driver is telling you after your ride that you do not have to pay “You are my guest, welcome to Iran” this is surely Ta’arof. Even if for any strange reason it is not, please, keep insisting to pay. Do not leave the car without paying. This goes for any kind of place that sells something, 99% of the time this is Ta’arof. Especially keeping in mind the current economic situation, it would feel a bit wrong for a traveller to accept things like this for free.

If you are going out for food with your new Iranian friends and the moment arrives to pay, be ready with your money and make it a game to give it to the cashier sooner than your friends. Otherwise, it will be impossible for them to let you pay. If you lost the game of paying the fastest, then at least invite them for ice cream or coffee and repay the hospitality. (Unless your new Iranian friends and you have established a relationship where you know no one is Ta’arofing, which will make life much easier)

If the above, is just as confusing to you as it was to me, then follow this safe rule; always refuse kindly for at least 4 or 5 times, if they still insist it is probably sincere. Have a good look at the body language and facial expression, that will give away a lot already. Most importantly, just have fun with it!

Conclusion

Iran was a country I just planned to travel through for a bit but ended up spending more than 7 months in. I will, from now on, and probably forever, join the group with the statement; “Iran is my absolute favourite country!”.

[tipsintrips-blog]

61 Travel Tips to Make You the World’s Savviest Traveler

Updated: 8/01/18 | August 1st, 2018

Most people aren’t born savvy travelers. It’s something that only comes with on-the-road experience. In the beginning, you make a lot of mistakes. Travel savviness is a process born of missed buses, foolish behavior, cultural unawareness, and countless tiny errors. Then, one day, you begin to seamlessly move through airports and integrate yourself into new cultures like a fish to water.

I want to help speed up the process and help you avoid my mistakes (and I often make a lot of them), so I put together this giant list of 61 travel tips that cover everything under the sun to help you reach your full travel ninja potential:

1- Always pack a towel

It’s the key to successful galactic hitchhiking and plain common sense. You never know when you will need it, whether it’s at the beach, on a picnic, or just to dry off. While many hostels offer towels, you never know and carrying a small towel won’t add that much weight to your bag.

2- Buy a small backpack/suitcase

By purchasing a small backpack (I like something around 35/40 liters), you will be forced you to pack light and avoid carrying too much stuff. Humans have a natural tendency to want to fill space so if you pack light but have lots of extra room in your bag, you’ll end up going “well, I guess I can take more” and then regret it.

3- Pack light

It’s OK to wear the same t-shirt a few days in a row. Take half the clothes you think you will need…you won’t need as much as you think. Write down a list of essentials, cut it in half, and then only pack that! Plus, since you bought a small backpack like I said, you won’t have much room for extra stuff anyways!

4- But take extra socks

You’ll lose a bunch to laundry gremlins, wear and tear, and hiking so packing extra will come in handy. I only take a few more than I need. Nothing beats a fresh pair of socks!

5- Take an extra bank card and credit card with you

Disasters happen. It’s always good to have a backup in case you get robbed or lose a card. You don’t want to be stuck somewhere new without access to your funds. I once had a card duplicated and a freeze put on it. I couldn’t use it for the rest of my trip. I was very happy I had an extra and not like my friend, who didn’t and was forced to borrow money from me all the time!

6- Make sure to use no-fee bank cards

Don’t give banks your hard-earned money. Keep that for yourself and spend it on your travels. Get a credit card and debit card that doesn’t charge a foreign transaction fee or an ATM fee. Over the course of a long trip, the few dollars they take every time will really add up!

7- Travel by yourself at least once

You’ll learn a lot about yourself and how to become independent. It’s a cliché, but it’s true. Traveling solo taught me how to fend for myself, talk to people, and handle unfamiliar situations with ease. It’s made me comfortable with myself, helped me learn about what I’m capable of, and allowed me to be super selfish and do whatever I want! It can take some getting used to if you’ve never done it before but do it at least once. Make yourself uncomfortable and surprise yourself. You’ll learn valuable life skills when you push yourself!

8- Don’t be afraid to use a map.

Looking like a tourist isn’t as bad as getting really lost and ending up in the wrong neighborhood. Don’t be afraid to use a map or ask for directions and look like a tourist. After all, you are one! I always use a map when I travel. It helps you get to where you need to go!

9- But don’t be afraid to get purposefully lost.

Wandering aimlessly through a new city is a good way to get to know it, get off the beaten path, and away from the tourists. You might be surprised by the hidden gems you find. I like to wander around and try to find my way without using Google Maps!

10- Always visit the local tourism office.

They know about everything going on in town. They can point you to free activities, special events happening during your stay, and everything in between. They even offer discounts on attractions and transportation. It is their job to help you experience the destination better. It’s amazing how many travelers skip this when they are visiting somewhere but, as a savvy traveler, you know to use this resource!

11- Don’t buy a money belt — they’re stupid.

Thieves know they exist and being seen with one basically shouts, “Look at me, I’m a tourist with money! Rip me off!” The more you can blend in and act like a local, the easier it will be to get deals and avoid touts. If you’re worried about pickpockets, keep a better eye on your stuff!

12- When you go out, take only what you need.

Limit the amount of cash and bank cards you carry with you, so if something does happen, you can easily recover. Never take more than one credit card or ATM card with you. My rule for cash is to limit what I carry to $50 USD.

13- Always carry a lock.

They come in handy, especially when you stay in dorms and need to lock your stuff up. Carry a small combination lock with you when you travel. Don’t use one with keys because, if you lose the keys, you’re screwed!

14- Make extra copies of your passport and important documents.

Don’t forget to e-mail a copy to yourself too. You never know when you might need to have some sort of documentation with you and might not want to carry your original. Additionally, if your passport gets stolen having a copy will come in handy for your police report.

15- Ask hostel staff for information — even when you aren’t staying there.

Hostel staff deal with budget travelers all day, every day. They know exactly where to go for cheap meals and attractions. They also tend to be locals so they know the city very well. Ask them for all sorts of information. Even if you aren’t staying in one, just pop in and ask for help. They’ll usually give it.

16- Learn basic phrases in the native language of your destination

The locals will appreciate it and it will make your interactions easier. You don’t need to master the language but learning a few things like “Hello,” “Goodbye,” “Thank you!”, “Where’s the bathroom?” will go a long way to endearing yourself with the locals. They’ll like that you tried.

17- Read a history book!

You can’t understand a place’s present if you don’t know anything about its past. Read up on the destinations you are visiting. It will give you a deeper understanding of this place you’ve wanted to see for so long!

18- Don’t be ashamed to walk into a Starbucks or McDonald’s.

Sometimes familiarity is comforting and both places have free wifi and public restrooms you can use. (Just don’t eat the food at McDonald’s! That shit is gross and unhealthy for you! You can get it back home!)

19-Don’t fly direct

When booking flights, sometimes it is cheaper to fly into airports close to your final destination, and then take a train or bus to where you need to go. Be sure to shop around for your flight and know that direct isn’t always the cheapest route.

20- Always get behind business travelers when in security lines.

They move fast since they are usually in a rush and travel light. They know the drill. Line up behind them as much as possible. You’ll speed through the line!

21- Never get behind families.

They take forever. It’s not their fault. They just have a lot of stuff because of the kids. Try to avoid getting in lines with lots of kids. It’s going to take awhile.

22- When you check in to the hotel, don’t be afraid to ask for an upgrade.

They have a lot of flexibility when it comes to assigning upgrades at check-in. It never hurts to ask. Often times they can accommodate you if the hotel isn’t full. Just be super nice!

23- Libraries, Starbucks, and most cafés have free Wi-Fi.

If you’re staying someplace that charges you to connect, check out one of these places. You can connect for free.

24- Lunchtime is the best time to visit historical sites.

Be a contrarian. You’ll have fewer crowds getting in your way as big tour buses, groups, and most travelers head to lunch. It’s always best to visit an attraction super early, late, or when people eat. You’ll have even the most popular places to yourself!

25- Never eat in a touristy area or near a tourist attraction

As a general rule, I walk five blocks in either direction before I find a place to eat. The closer you are to tourist attractions the more you are going to pay and the worse the food (and service). Use websites like Yelp, Google Maps, Foursquare, or Open Rice to find some delicious and popular restaurants around you.

Additionally, never eat anywhere the menu is in like 6 languages! That means the restaurant is just for tourists!

26- Locals don’t eat out every night and neither should you.

Go grocery shopping. You can learn a lot about locals’ diets by seeing the type of food they buy. Plus, it will save you a lot of money. You won’t regret it. Cook your food, save money, surprise yourself!

27- Eat at expensive restaurants during lunch.

Most expensive restaurants offer lunch specials featuring the same food they would serve for dinner but half the price! That’s the best time to eat out when you travel.

28- Pack a flashlight.

It will let you see at night, you avoid stepping on stuff, and help you tell ghost stories. Who’s afraid of the dark?

29-Carry a basic first-aid kit.

Accidents happen so be prepared. I take band-aids, antibacterial cream, and ointments for minor cuts and scrapes. You never know when you’re going to need it and you can’t always get it when you travel.

30- Book flights 2-3 months in advance to get the best price.

Don’t drive yourself too crazy trying to get the absolute cheapest fare. Spending five hours to try to save $10 will cause you a lot of stress. Here are some article on how to save money on flights:

31- Stay in hostels

They are cheap, organize events, you’ll meet a lot of people, and they are just tons of fun! Plus, hostel bars sell cheap beer.

32- Use Meetup, the sharing economy, and hospitality websites to meet locals

These websites will help you get an insider’s perspective on your destination by connecting you with locals in the places you visit. The sharing economy has changed the way people travel allowing you to meet locals, get off the tourist travel, and save mega money! It’s a triple win – and resources that I use all the time when I travel. Here’s an article on how to use the sharing economy (and what websites to use) when you travel.

33- Be open to strangers

Not everyone bites. Say hi to people on the road. Turn strangers into friends. Remember they are just like you! They want to live a happy, full life and have hopes and dreams too! You never know. You just might make some lifelong friends.

34- But keep your guard up.

Some people do bite, so keep a healthy level of suspicion. You don’t want to fall for any travel scams or get yourself into uncomfortable situations. Be open but cautious.

35- Try new food.

Don’t ask what it is. Just put it in your mouth and see if you like it. If you put your guard up, you might miss out on some unusual and delicious local cuisine. Here

36- Avoid taxis.

They are always a budget buster. Never, ever take a taxi unless you absolutely have too!

37- Take an empty metal water bottle through airport security and fill it up at your gate.

Drink from the tap when you can — you’ll save money and help the environment. If you’re going somewhere where you can’t drink the water, be sure to get a water bottle with a filter. I love LifeStraw and Grayl as my two preferred ones.

38- Take free walking tours.

Besides being free, these tours will give you a good orientation and background of the city you are visiting. I love, love, love taking walking tours when I travel. You pass the time, you get to pepper the guide with questions, and you get to learn so much about where you are! Take a walking tour when you travel!

39- Get city attraction cards.

If you are going to visit a lot of museums and other attractions in a short period of time, a city pass is going to save you money on admission (plus most provide free public transportation too!).

40- Take pictures of your luggage and clothes.

If your bag gets lost, this will help identify it more easily and speed up the process of having your travel insurance reimburse you.

41- Carry emergency cash.

Because emergencies happen. Like that time in Romania when I couldn’t find an ATM and needed money for the bus to the hostel! I usually try to keep around a $200 USD in emergency cash in case something happens!

42- Get good shoes.

You walk a lot when you travel. Don’t beat up your feet. Love them as much as they love you, and they’ll take you to amazing places.

43- Get vaccinated.

Because falling prey to an illness in a foreign country is not fun — and many countries require you to get vaccinated in order to visit them so, regardless of your opinion on the subject, you just might have to.

44- Learn to haggle.

Haggling is a fun, playful way of not getting charged the foreigner price. It’s the art of negotiating and one that will help you throughout all of life, not just at the market.

45- Use points and miles for free travel.

You can go a lot further in the world when you don’t have to pay for it. Learn the art of travel hacking and collect points and miles through your everyday spending so you can get free flights, accommodation, train tickets, and other forms of travel! It’s what all expert travelers due to lower their travel costs and something you should do too! Here’s how I earn 1 million frequent flier miles every year!

46- Take a jacket.

Nights get chilly.

47- Eat street food!

If you skip the street food, you miss out on culture. Don’t be scared. If you’re nervous, look for places where kids are eating. If it’s safe for them, it’s safe for you.

48- Get travel insurance

Travel insurance is the most important thing you get that you never want to use. If something goes wrong, you don’t want to be out thousands of dollars in bills. It will be there if you get robbed, flights get cancelled, you get sick or injured, or have to be sent home. It’s comprehensive and, for just a few dollars a day, one of the best investments you can get for a trip. You may think you’re superman/woman but so did my friend who broke her arm, didn’t have insurance, and had to pay thousands out of pocket. Insurance was there when I had to replace my camera and when I popped an eardrum scuba diving!

49- Be patient.

Things will work out in the end. No need to rush. You’ll get to where you are going in due time. Travel is about the journey, not the destination.

50- Be respectful.

Locals are willing to help you out, but there’s probably a language barrier, so keep your cool when something doesn’t go your way. If you don’t, you’ll end up just looking like an asshole tourist.

51- Don’t overplan your trip.

Let your days unfold naturally. Schedule two or three things and let the day fill in the rest on its own. It’s less stressful, and letting the day just take you is one of the best ways to travel.

52- Relax.

See Be patient.

53- Be frugal — but not cheap.

Don’t be penny wise but pound-foolish. Look for deals and don’t waste money, but don’t miss out on great experiences or walk 10 miles to save a couple of dollars. Time is money. Spend them both wisely.

54- Take earplugs.

Snorers are everywhere and you need your sleep.

55- Always have an extra USB charger.

Batteries die. Your good mood shouldn’t.

56- Take photos of and with people.

Lots of photos. Years from now, you’ll want to look back on those nights you can’t remember and the people who made them memorable.

57- Book your tickets online

If you’re planning to do any activities or excursions on your trip, book them online. Companies usually offer a discounted price when compared to buying in person. Not only that but you’ll be able to pay with a credit card, giving you some extra protection as well as more travel points!

58- Sign up for flight deals

When it comes to travel, your flight(s) will likely be your biggest expense. Save money by signing up for flight deal websites like Scott’s Cheap Flights, The Flight Deal, and Secret Flying. You’ll get epic flight deals straight to your inbox, saving you time and money. Also be sure to sign up for airline newsletters, since that is where they will announce their sales first!

59- Pre-book your tickets to attractions

Many major attractions allow you to reserve your spot and skip the line. Always look online to see if this is an option. This will you to avoid wasting time in multi-hour lines and go right in. I’ve seen people wait hours for the Paris Catacombs, Louvre, London Churchill War Rooms, churches, temples, historic fortresses, and more. Pre-book the day before, skip the line, get to see more during your day!

60- Avoid TripAdvisor

TripAdvisor is fine when you need opening hours or an address, but when it comes to reviews I ignore it completely. People always leave a negative review when something bad happens but rarely leave a positive review when something good happens so the reviews tend to be skewed. On top of that, it’s very easy to create fake reviews and make a place seem better than it is. Many hotels and restaurants hire firms to artificially inflate their reviews on the platform. Additionally, TripAdvisor has been known to take down reviews that are overly negative as well reviews on sexual assualt. Use TripAdvisor with caution. Or better yet, don’t use it at all.

61- Finally, wear sunscreen.

For as the Baz Luhrmann song “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” goes:

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable Than my own meandering experience.

[theairportau]

the airport AU, part 125 by rjdaae and hopsjollyhigh

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 101, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10 111, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24

CHRISTINE

Christine sweeps into her hotel room with a new spring in her step, latching the door behind her with an eagerness for the next time she will go out. Her phone chimes—audibly, this time—just as sets her bags down on the desk, and when she sees Erik’s message she doesn’t waste any time in sending her reply:

‘Yes, that will be perfect!’

A smile seems fixed on her face as she sorts through her newly-purchased clothes with an unnecessary haste. Picking one of the t-shirts to pair with the skirt, she tucks the other into the small chest of drawers on the other side of the room. Her backpack full of laundry sits in the corner, waiting for the chance to be cleaned—she’ll have to remember to ask Erik for the use of his washer again, she thinks—but at least she’ll be able to wear a nice fresh outfit for her lesson.

*And* her new jacket!

With a bit of reluctance, she slips the garment from her shoulders, her fingers smoothing gently across the soft grey microsuede.

She still isn’t sure what she did to deserve her good fortune. But she has already been made aware of how best to be *worthy* of it.

Crossing to the desk, Christine drapes the jacket carefully over the chair, then turns her focus squarely to the slightly-intimidating box of books that rests nearby. After a moment of lingering hesitation, she extracts the volume of soprano solos.

It had been days ago that Erik had suggested the Mozart piece—days since *she* had sworn that she would study it at her first opportunity. But one thing after another had seemed to come up, interrupting lessons and her concentration both. She frowns against the feeling of blended guilt and annoyance that warms her face at the thought. It isn’t Erik’s fault that he hasn’t been well—but it is most certainly *hers* that she has neglected such a simple and clearly-defined task as studying a book. Clasping the songbook, she reaches back into the box to retrieve the more technical guidebook as well, determined to not only memorize her aria before the morning, but to begin making up for the past lost days of study.

First, though: the aria.

The name of the piece doesn’t come to mind at first, but after a few moments of leafing through the Mozart section, she succeeds in finding it—Zerlina, the name of the character that sang it, jumping out at her from the page.

‘You will sing Zerlina tomorrow- 'Vedrai, carino’ is a manageable aria.’

Skimming over the music, comparing it to the complexity of the piece she’d auditioned for the Opera with, Christine can feel her face heating up again. What had she been thinking, trying to sing something that, obviously, was beyond her reach? It’s a wonder that she’d been allowed to audition at all—that the men sitting behind the desk hadn’t read the words ’Air de Bijoux’ on her paper and simply laughed her out of their office.

That doesn’t matter now, though. She has a new chance to do things right. There’s no sense in being embarrassed about what’s in the past. All she can do is work her way *forward*.

Though it’s yet only afternoon, Christine isn’t brave enough to risk upsetting any of her fellow guests by singing in a hotel room. Still, she does let herself hum the notes, tracing her fingertip along the orderly staves.

She imagines that she can nearly hear it already: the deft way that Erik would render each trill of the piano, drawing the lilting melody out of the instrument with his expert touch, her voice fluttering along just above the accompaniment like a butterfly.

The words are in Italian, but the IPA transcription that accompanies them removes any great stumbling block that the language might have presented; though there have unquestionably been moments when Christine has wished she’d studied more French *before* coming to Paris, she feels certain that it’ll be a long time before she regrets the time she spent teaching herself the phonetic alphabet.

The book also provides a brief translated summary; and she reads over it, trying to get a sense for the scene before learning the lyrics. It’s straightforward enough: no great dying soliloquy or dramatic entreaty to the heavens—just the sweet song of a simple peasant girl, offering to salve her injured fiancé with her love.

The thought is as naive as it is lovely: Christine has lived her life in the difficult knowledge that a heart can stop beating even if another beats for it alone. But opera has never adhered solidly to the conventions of reality, and Christine has always had a weakness for fairy tales. It isn’t hard for her to let herself be won over by the sweet earnestness of the piece, by the love Zerlina has for her injured beau, little experience though Christine herself has in such matters.

She works determinedly for the rest of the afternoon, doing her best to fix the unfamiliar lyrics in her memory and then moving on to her singing book—reminding herself of the things she has already been taught, and getting a head-start on the things that she is likely to be instructed upon next.

It’s only when her stomach growls, reminding her that she hasn’t had anything to eat since her pastry earlier, that she notices that the sun has set.

---

ERIK

The quiet is both tense and welcome- Khan’s intentions are good, they always have been, but Erik is too deep into himself to keep up a conversation with another person. He looks at his phone, but can’t bring himself to type a reply; he is reeling, unsure where his mind is even going and utterly unable to keep pace with it. Something about a full night’s sleep, something about having energy and stamina seems to kick him into a manic overdrive that he can’t make any sense of.

There has been so much over the past week.

Back in his room, he lets his hand rest on the letter at his bedside- he doesn’t need to read it again. He knows the content of it. Just to feel the indentations in the paper is enough to bring some grounding to him, and in a bright moment of lucidity, he knows what he needs to go back to. The same thing that he has always gone back to, the same thing that has kept him alive, even more so than violence and murder and even Khan.

He retreats down the stairs, and he writes.

He improvises often enough, and it sustains him, but it has been some time since he put pen to paper and recorded anything of his own creation; he never seems to have the energy to write it down, but this burst of mania leads him down a blessedly constructive path- it has been, in the past, that these sudden and overwhelming moments of energy have lead him to more violence, more destruction, but if he can just channel it this time…

The music is as convoluted and messy as he feels, at first- he records it anyway, scratching notes fast enough on staff paper beside his piano that it feels as though the reverberation of the final note still hangs in the air when he finishes recording a phrase and returns to the keyboard. It is a restless cacophony, a tangled knot of music that goes on, and on, until the finest threads begin to emerge. Cautious, reserved- ideas take shape in the form of tense, staccato notes rambling up and down the pages, more pages than he can really keep track of, pages that he just tosses to the side as they finish, without any regard for keeping them in order. He can handle these thoughts, in this abstract form; begin to mold and make some sense of them, not as words, but as music. He is detached from his own body, hunched over the piano and hammering his stream of consciousness into the instrument. The piano is a confidante, the ultimate confidante, something that he can tell his entire story to- things he’ll never tell Khan or Darius, never tell Christine, spill from his fingers. The dissonance of feelings that should cancel one another out, but all consume him entirely, and all at once- the anger, the grief, the shame, and somehow, weaving its way in and out of it all, a thin and shimmering tendril of light, dancing like a firefly between phrases, elusive and uncatchable, blinking in and out of sight and hovering just beyond his grasp. Something that he cannot play; something that he doesn’t know, something new that beckons him ever closer, that leads him to build, and build, and collapse, and begin again each time. A nameless beacon that he chases along each staff, across each page that inevitably makes its way to an unceremonious pile on the floor; it all centers around this, this nameless point dances so close to his fingertips. For now, he has the stamina to chase it all night.

---

CHRISTINE

An hour or three later, and the desk chair has once again migrated to the window. Outside, the evening has only grown even darker, painted in slick shadows by a thin drizzle that had started falling sometime after Christine stopped paying attention. But the rain also picks out the shimmering blue haloes that ring each streetlamp; scatters and multiplies the reflections of the newly-strung Christmas lights, their hues blurring like sparse watercolours across the pavement. It’s a welcome change of view after hours spent hunched over a desk.

The first order of business, after the abrupt ending of her study session, had been to eat something—a problem which, after so much practice ordering from them, was solved easily by a call to the hotel room service.

Thankfully, before hanging up the phone, Christine also thought to ask if they could bring her some postage stamps. This proved a bit less straightforward, given her uncertainty over several of the words required (and the obvious hesitation in the voice at the other end of the line), but the carnet of brightly-coloured stamps now sitting proudly on the side table stood testament to her success. After eating her supper, and getting a shower (choosing to ration her remaining shampoo instead of daring to test the new bottle), she settled by the window with a pen and the postcard she bought earlier.

‘Dear Mamma, I had lunch here today! Soon I’ll go inside, and tell you all about it! All my love, Christine’

On the front of the card, she pressed the protesting pen nib hard against the glossy photo, drawing a rough star over what seemed like the place she and Darius had sat. She could picture Mamma at her fika, proudly waving the card in front of her companions—old ladies whose children and grandchildren *weren’t* in Paris having lunch in front of the Louvre. With a small smile, Christine set the postcard carefully to the side, with the intention to drop it in the mail box she remembered seeing partway between the hotel and Erik’s house.

In the meantime, the sweet romanticism of Zerlina’s song had put Christine in a mood for fairy tales—a notion which the twinkling lights beyond the window did nothing to dispel. It wasn’t long before one of her other books, this time the volume of French stories, found its way onto her lap.

Skipping around the book, reading a story here and another there, she finds that some are ones that she already already knows like her own. Such is the nature of folklore, that the same story can travel so far afield that its true home becomes a mystery, its trappings changed out to blend with each new domicile.

But there are also things that are wholly new to her—kingdoms and enchantments and creatures that she has never heard of, for all the stories that she has read and listened to. A thrilling shiver threatens at an ominously vague reference to something called a ’Korrigan’, a being whose mystery makes it seem far more fearsome than her own familiar trolls; squinting at the dancing lights in the street below, she isn’t sure whether the footnote that explains that such creatures are native to Bretagne, many miles from Paris, is more of a relief or a disappointment.

There’s one constant, though, that shows up in nearly every one of the scattering of stories she reads: whether the story is a familiar one or new to her, tale after tale ends the same way, with love at first sight leading to marriage with a prince or princess (or, in one case, a queen); it isn’t difficult to understand Erik’s exasperation at the sheer *prevalence* of the theme—even if her chest still twinges painfully at the way he’d dismissed such (to her, beloved) stories as scornfully absurd, foolish, even harmful.

It’s a wonder that he cares for *opera*, if he has such a low opinion of unrealistic romances, Christine muses to herself with a rare sardonic smirk, belied though it is by hurt.

She closes the book, leaving many more tales yet to be read, and obstinately looking forward to the thought of every single one of them.

Let her friend think what he will. In a fairy world populated with terrifying beasts and monsters of all descriptions, *love*, even the unlikely love of some royal personage, seems far from the most damaging thing that a person might believe in—or the most fanciful. Even if she’s never been fully certain of its relevance to *herself*, Christine only has to think of her mother and her papa, of the Professor and Mamma Valerius and what they had shared, to know that she *does* believe in love; if none of them were of noble blood, they’d cherished each other as desperately as if they had been.

She returns the book of stories to the desk, placing it beside the others. Despite the hours she’d spent staring at them, her heart can’t help but jump reflexively at the sight of the music books; as she nestles into the covers of her bed, she wonders how she’ll ever manage to fall asleep.

No matter how excited she is about her upcoming lesson, though, it isn’t enough to counteract a long morning spent walking around the great city; before long she slips away, carried on a dream of an enchanted bird singing in a silver tree.

---

ERIK, KHAN, & DARIUS

There is a sense of peace in the night air. Even as the thin drizzle begins to fall from the sky, and Erik keeps up his relentless pace at writing, and the diners filter in and out of the restaurant, the evening doesn’t feel rushed, or drag on. Everything happens as it should at the restaurant, and when they’ve closed for the evening, Khan and Darius curl up in their living room, both tired from the day’s events. Khan very nearly falls asleep in his chair before Darius nudges him and sends him to bed. He goes to sleep, himself, thinking only of the good that had happened earlier that day, the brightness in Christine’s future and the hope for Erik’s, as well.

He and Khan had agreed not to worry about the package they’d received that afternoon until they needed to.

Erik keeps playing without any regard for the time, even as the moon crosses the sky and the sun begins to take its place. In their apartment, Khan and Darius pray together, eat breakfast together, and begin again- Darius going downstairs to set up his kitchen for another day, and Khan going back to his chair, book in hand. The sun makes occasional appearances this morning, clouds moving through the sky rapidly enough to make the shadows dance and change in the span of minutes; Khan watches the street for a bit rather than reading, but finally sets his book down with a sigh, still unopened. He stands up and makes his way back over to the guest bedroom, where they stashed the package yesterday, once they had realized what it was, and leans in the door frame, staring at it as all of the anxiety suppressed from yesterday bubbles up in his gut now that he’s alone with it.

And down the street, Erik is unaware that the sun has set, or risen, or that hours have passed. His singular focus remains unbroken through the night, stretching into the next morning, and page after page has stacked up beside him, some crumpled before being tossed to the side. He has become machine-like in his progress, despite the clarity of emotion in the work itself; it’s as if his body, with all of its physical needs, has simply fallen away for these past few hours, and he can work unbound by regular limitations. While he writes, his mind can neither fall behind, nor keep up; this state of working frenzy has always been his ideal retreat to both avoid and to attempt understanding, and it works just as well now. To pause would be to lose momentum. It isn’t even a thought in his mind.

---

CHRISTINE

Christine wakes before her alarm has the chance to go off; she might have been grateful not to have overslept, if not for the resulting *extra minutes* added on to her wait. Frowning at the still-dark street outside the window, she hopes that Erik, at least, has managed to get another full night’s rest.

She gets up and starts getting ready as if she can’t get out of the hotel quickly enough, though she has *beyond* enough time left until she is supposed to be at Erik’s. Why, she wonders, had she spent the time laying out an outfit last night, when that task might have provided a few minutes of distraction this morning?; as it is, she tries to slow down as she pulls on the skirt and blouse she bought the day before, knowing that all of her haste won’t make the clock tick any closer to her lesson—but may very well tear a seam in her new clothes. The bathroom mirror assists in stalling a bit longer, as she turns to check over her new outfit; the skirt, especially, is lovely—mid-length and full; pale but dotted with countless cobalt-coloured flowers—and she is happy that she decided to buy it after all. Her hair offers another diversion, keeping her busy while she waits for her breakfast to arrive; she settles on a pair of loose braids, which she ends up pinning around her head when she realises she still has half an hour to burn.

As she’s sliding the last pin through the crown, though, a thought occurs to her—one which combines the money in her purse, and the bakery down the street, and the opportunity to get on her way a few minutes sooner.

True, she’s already eaten—but Darius did say that Erik liked the bakery’s gougères.

So taken is she with the new plan forming in her head that she forgets entirely about her intention to ask if she can bring her laundry over. She remembers to grab her music book and Mamma’s postcard, but before leaving the hotel, all she texts Erik is,

‘I am up, I will be there at 10! :)’

Proudly pulling on her new jacket, she sets off.

---

ERIK, KHAN, & DARIUS

Of course Erik hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep- and of course, consumed as he is by his writing, he doesn’t even notice the pitiful chime of his phone from beneath all the pages covering the music stand. He is starting to feel stuck- all night, chasing something, and he still doesn’t feel he’s even caught a glimpse of it; he can’t begin to perceive what he is trying to accomplish. He keeps playing through the irritation, lets it work itself out in a few harsh and jarring measures- he isn’t even certain what he’s writing, or why he feels the need to write this one down. He hardly ever writes anything down anymore. But it feels less like creation and more like investigation- as if he can’t identify an emotion until he’s heard it played through an instrument first, as if his hands know better than his mind.

-

It’s a reasonably nice day outside- not the bright and sunny day it was yesterday, but nice in its own right. A bit cloudy, with the feel in the air of a possible drizzle later on. Darius doesn’t bother with a coat as he sweeps the sidewalk outside the restaurant- unbeknownst to him, only missing Christine’s passing by a few minutes. Khan has come downstairs, looking for something to do, and Darius gives him busy work, washing and peeling root vegetables for later on- at the very least, it occupies the older man’s mind, and he lets himself slip into an easy rhythm. He can see why Darius likes to cook. Despite the hectic nature of a restaurant at busy times, there are peaceful moments, and it’s good to see work pile up in pans beside him. At least he’s accomplishing something other than worrying up in the apartment. It will be a decent day, he and Darius both determine, separate in their own minds but confirming with quiet glances at each other across the kitchen; too many days have been difficult lately, and they must take peace where they can get it, before things erupt again.

---

(Part 126)

[thebackroadtourist]

Post-Trip Blues: A Climb Back to Reality.

Imagine cruising at a comfortable speed down an oceanside highway in a drop-top convertible with your sunglasses on and your favorite tunes bumpin’ from the stereo. And then you see your exit sign ahead - you are aware you need to get off but you’re too high on life to care. Before you know it you’re swerving onto the exit ramp and your silky smooth convertible all of a sudden turns into a rackety, rusty gas-guzzling Ford four-door covered in bird shit. That’s what it’s like coming back to the real world.   

23 days ago I returned home to Brooklyn from a 13 country, 11 week unstructured tour in Europe.

Travel (specifically solo travel) is an incredible soul enriching experience that few American’s do while they’re young. When you take an extended trip you really are living on a cloud. You enter into a new dimension, a realm of isolation with unlimited possibilities you would have never imagined to be true. It’s an escape, but also an immersion. It’s a unique period of time when not too many things from home bother you, not even the catastrophe of Trump’s presidency. The stresses of every day life slide down your back and stay on the tarmac as the plane takes off and suddenly you’re crossing the Atlantic ocean at 3am wondering “how the fuck did I get here.” Not only do you shed old skin when you embark on a journey, you essentially leave your life behind: your possessions, your jobs, your apartment, your girl/boy drama, your daddy drama, your mama drama, your sugar-daddy drama or your baby-mama drama (if you have those things). What fits into your backpack is your life for the next X amount of days, weeks, or months that you plan to be on the road. Life becomes eerily simple. 

Your mind-space shifts from your mundane routine back home to spontaneous bursts of brand new sights, sounds, tastes, smells, etc. You encounter foreign languages, scenery, people, food, music, and cultures. You make friends from all over the world and find the cobweb of your mind grow voluminously. As your mind expands, the things that normally stress you out seem petty and become obsolete. Usually what we stress about are related to the roles we play in society, especially in a place like New York City. Society places a giant pressure on us to earn money, establish ourselves and maintain sound social status. High schools and universities in America do not advocate travel as a viable option, but rather a push to crawl up the corporate latter which makes it difficult for the average Joe to find his way overseas simply to “backpack”.

I find that 80% of my daily stress evaporates when I’m on the road. Traveling forces me to be in the present moment. You have to be ready to react - and you must always be “on guard” to an extent.

So what happens when you return? Here is my experience:

I landed back in the States late on a Sunday night knowing I would have to begin work the next day. I do a lot of contractor/freelance work so I make my own schedule. My theory was this: to be as busy as I could so I don’t have time for post-travel blues. I knew what the post-travel blues could do and instead of embracing it, I ran. But it caught up to me. My previous backpacking trip through Central and South American left me with severe post-travel blues, yet I wasn’t keeping busy. So this time I scheduled in a full week’s worth of work right off the bat, achieving no time to rest or recoup from the 6 hour time difference. “Too busy to stress” was my motto. 

When I walked back into my apartment for the first time I noticed my subletter had not cleaned. There were mysteriously different bed sheets on my bed, which were dirty. The bathroom was a disaster as if a bomb hit the bathtub along with a puddle of filth around sink. There were hair and beard trimmings all over the floor near the now-disgusting toilet and the mirror above the sink made my face look blurry. He also drowned my plants, which I specifically asked him to take care of. There had been a cockroach infestation in my building while I was gone so I spent time chasing down roaches in my bedroom as well. Eventually I reclaimed my living space, but I was pissed. 

I was greeted with familiar family drama as well, the rather deep and unresolved issues in my life. I learned quickly that a lot of work was needed to be done in this area of my life. Welcome home!

Now it was time to work. I eased into my old jobs with no hassle although a big part of me felt trapped. Having not worked for 11 weeks each minute of work felt like pulling teeth. The constructs of having to wake up at certain times to do certain things, having to be in places I didn’t want to be (like the subway during rush hour) and reacquainting myself with the concept of money again was by far the worst part of it. I was also double booking myself for gigs and dates with friends, so my organizational/time management skills went to shit. For about a week straight I found myself disoriented in this sense. My bank account was bare from my trip, so that tacked on stress. I went from paying $6/night at a beautiful retreat-like bungalow in Greece to paying $850/month in my 6th floor Flatbush bedroom, with cockroaches. I thought to myself “what the hell am I doing here?” Then I became desperate, desperate to hit the road again and live the travel life full time. So I searched online and found a guy who taught affiliate marketing: a lap-top based job designed for those who want to work remotely. I spent two hours with him on a Skype call to learn he was a con artist and the whole thing was a scam. Whatever, that work is meaningless anyways. But my mind would not stop racing, “how do I get that freedom back!?” 

While I sunk deeper into a black hole of post-trip blues, something happened that I did not expect: I began to hate New York City. My favorite place in the world before I left, I absolutely couldn’t stand anymore. From the screaming sirens to the blaring horns to the sounds of the subway and the stench of homeless people on the streets - I hated it all, despite seeing nasty stuff in Albania and Bosnia. I hated the depressed looking people on the subway and it bothered me that no one on the street would make eye contact and smile. For a minute there I forgot what life was like before I left, and this was the biggest climb. I was so engulfed in the world of travel, where most people around you were friendly and making friends with other travelers was a breeze that I had forgotten what my home reality was like, and how sad it was.

Fortunately I was smart enough to confide in my travel friends, specifically my friend Stephen who lives in Denver. “It comes with the territory, man,” he preached as I sulked. As the days turned I slowly (with babysteps) overcame the blues.  

The trick to overcoming the blues? There is NO trick, only awareness. 

The more I became aware of my thoughts and desires to escape reality again, the quicker my depression faded away. I spent quality time with my friends, took more yoga classes and have been doing some boxing to relieve stress. 23 days back to my life here in New York City I can finally say I feel back to normal, although it took this long to get here. So what can I say? The post-trip blues are real and there’s no escaping them. No one I know has not suffered from the post-trip blues, and there is no cure - only awareness. Because this too shall pass. If you ever suffer from post trip blues don’t worry - through time you will find yourself back in the rhythm of reality, this time with a broader view of the world. 

[altughuner-blog]

We all are travelers in our own ways and there different types of travel to explore. While some of us are in the business of traveling, it is a part of life for everyone. Humans have an inherent urge to travel, to see the unseen, to know the world unlike ours. Our ancestors were nomads, they wandered around in search of food and shelter. I wonder if they also wandered to discover new lands, new landscapes, new types of food and maybe better dwellings.

Human Civilization has come a long way since then. Our urge to travel, our curiosity for the world not seen yet has taken the shape of holidays. We look forward to breaks from our work to enjoy leisure time in a new destination.

37 Types of Travel

I am often asked what type of traveler you are? How does one answer that? There are so many reasons and seasons to travel. So, here is a post telling you some of the popular ways to travel. Which one should you choose depends on your interests, your finances, and your personality? I would say try as many as possible at least once.

1, 2 – Short Weekend Breaks Vs Long Slow Travel

The first thing that you need to travel is time. If you do not have time, there is a day job that needs all your active time. Take a weekend break at least once a month. Explore the areas surrounding your own city and you will be surprised how much there is to explore there. When I was working full time I used to follow weekend travel for at least one week in a month.

On the other side of the spectrum is Long Slow Travel is the type of travel that digital nomads prefer to work with these days. In Long Slow Travel you stay at a destination for a longer duration – anywhere from one month to one year. Most nomads would stay for 3-6 months and explore the destination or region at a slow pace. Many Travel bloggers also do this.

3, 4 – Backyard Travel Vs Travel the World

If you live in an ancient land like India, there is so much to explore right in your neighborhood. You can simply go walking around in your own city and you will discover so much. When I lived in Delhi, I walked around the streets of Delhi and explored so much about the ancient to the modern history of the city. I wrote 30 odd walking tours of Delhi. It was a world in itself waiting to be discovered. And, while you go around exploring the nook and corner of India, don’t forget to secure your journey with Tata AIG’s Domestic Travel Guard Insurance to have a hassle-free trip.

Travel the world is everyone’s dream. We all fulfill it to some extent. It is always fascinating to visit new countries and learn about their culture and food. Many travelers keep a count of the number of countries visited, some are chasing the number of stamps on their passports. Whenever you travel overseas, make sure you have International travel insurance to take care of any mishaps. The laws of every land are different and costs of trip cancellation, baggage loss, unexpected accidents, and medical emergencies can be prohibitive.

5, 6 – Leisure Vs Business Travel

Leisure travel is what our dreams are made of. Sitting on a sunny beach, sipping our favorite drink in a luxurious resort away from the world. This is travel when we leave our normal day to day life back home and treat ourselves to all the luxuries we can afford, pamper ourselves and rejuvenate ourselves. Please treat yourself to such travels once in a while, works like magic for your well being.

Heritage and Nature at Lodhi Garden in Delhi

Business travel also takes you to different parts of the world. While most of us see it as work, it shows you the world from a common citizen’s perspective. Take out time in the evenings or add a day to your travel to explore the destination. When I was working, I used a lot of my business travel to explore many destinations my work took me to.

7, 8, 9 – Air Travel Vs Train Travel VS Cruise Trips

A journey is as enjoyable as the destination they say. The mode of travel you choose can be a part of the travel adventure. Many of us who grew up in the 1980s in India, travel memories are invariably tied to long train journeys. I remember my uncle used to live in Varanasi and we used to visit them during our holidays. The joy of the train journey is what I remember the most. We used to wait for stations for the food that we used to get there.

Air Travel is the most popular in this day and age. It has the advantage of speed, but I do not recall any stories from my thousands of air journeys. For some reason, people hardly speak to each other on airports. The food is usually bad. Having said that, Air travel is the best option for long distance travel or when you have a shortage of time.

Cruise ships take you over waters. Imagine surrounded by waters all day as you move from one destination to another.

10, 11, 12 – Road Trip Vs Cycling Tours Vs Walking Tours

Carrying the mode of travel thought forward, one of my favorites modes to travel is road trips with no defined itinerary. You have a final destination but there are a lot more than you discover on the way. Road trips are when you discover the small eateries on the way. You stop by the fields to admire them. I remember Sarson Ke Khet that you find across North India when you drive from Delhi to Alwar or in rural Punjab around Patiala.

Cycling tours are favorites with those who prefer eco-tourism and responsible tourism. It is also great for fitness travel. You are slower than a vehicle but faster than walking. You can stop where you want. There are cities like Chandigarh or Vancouver where you can rent a cycle and tour around the city. Hope every city in India someday gets this system in place.

Walking tours are my favorite. I love walking around the cities I live in & the cities I visit. When in nature they take the form of nature trails. Walking is like meditation in nature. In cities, it is like being a part of the trail you are walking. You engage with all the elements of place, absorbing them, making them your own.

13, 14, 15 – Luxury Travel Vs Backpacking or Flashpacking

Travel is for everyone – rich or poor or middle class. If you can afford it, you can buy all the possible luxuries in your holidays. If you can’t, you can still roam around like a carefree person with your backpack. The core of travel remains the same – a luxury traveler may take business class flight ticket while the backpacker may travel in second class in railways. The luxury traveler may enjoy the Gourmet food while backpacker may binge on fresh street food.

Lately, Flashpacking is becoming the trend, which is nothing but an affluent backpacker. The clear definition is still evolving but in my mind, it is the what next generation free-spirited travelers will aim for.

16, 17, 18 – Solo Travel Vs Family Travel Vs Friends Travel

Let’s come to who do you travel with. They say that travel brings out the best and worst in you. Maybe you should travel with your potential partners to discover that.

Solo travel is overhyped in digital media, most people travel solo as they cannot find a company to travel. Having said that, I suggest you should do some solo travels in life. It is when you travel alone that you are 100% in the destination. It is during solo travels that you get to know yourself a lot, get to spend quality time with yourself. It’s also the freest mode of traveling with no constraints to accommodate others. It comes with its own downsides, so balance it out by traveling with others, at other times.

Family travel comes naturally to most families, who look forward to spending some free time together. I think if you ask a couple or a family, their fondest family moments – they are always the travel moments. So, go ahead and create those magical moments for yourself and your family.

Traveling with friends is fun. While family usually has different age groups, most friends’ groups are in your age bracket. People in our age bracket tend to have similar tendencies, and that makes travels with friends so much fun. There is nothing like gossiping through the night or binging on your favorite food with friends sitting on a beach or a mountain.

19, 20, 21 – Visiting Friends & Relatives Vs Retreats

Do we always have to travel to distant places? Not really. Most of our childhood travels meant traveling to visit grandparents or relatives or family friends. It is still a great idea to go and stay with family and friends when you want to explore a destination. Not only do you get to meet your loved ones but your costs are also taken care of. Be welcoming when the reverse happens.

Retreats mean going away from everyone and spending time with yourself. There are different types of retreats offered in distant resorts like Yoga retreats, meditation retreats, spiritual retreats or wellness retreats.

22, 23 – Package Tours Vs Follow your Heart Travel

Package tours are looked down upon by many travelers, but they are the easiest way to travel. Everything is outsourced to someone and you just follow the itinerary and enjoy the tour. Yes, it does not give you the flexibility to do your things or spend as much time at any place that you may like a lot. I suggest if you have just started to travel – they are not at all a bad option to explore. Package tours are usually economical.

Planning your own travel itinerary or following your heart is something we all want to do. Please note that this requires a hell lot of research, negotiations, planning and any downside anywhere is your responsibility. You have the freedom but you have to do take care of every minute thing yourself.

24, 25 – Laid Back Vs Adventure Travel

Laid back and adventure travel may seem like two ends of a spectrum, but we need both of them. When you are stressed out and in need of some relaxation, choose the laid back resort to relax. On the other hand, when life is too sedentary, take an adventure break and get back your Josh.

I would not suggest choosing between these two types of travel but just enjoy them alternatively.

26, 27, 28 – Culture Travel Vs Nature Trails Vs Offbeat Travel

I am a culture vulture. I can spend hours in the galleries of museums, in the crowded markets, in old streets and talking to people. All the old living places are my go to places. This does not mean you have to like it too, but try it, you may just fall for it.

Nature is everyone’s muse. Who does not like to be closer to nature? Till industrialization made us a part of concrete jungles, our ancestors happily lived with nature. Flora and Fauna were a part of their everyday life. We visit national parks and wildlife sanctuaries to relive those times. For me, it is an opportunity to learn about wildlife, trees, spiders, and things that are not there in my surroundings.

Offbeat travel is a jargon. Anything that you have not seen but you want to see is offbeat. Does it really matter of million other people also want to see that? If you have not seen Taj Mahal but you want to see, it is offbeat for you. So, make your own wish list of places you want to see and follow it. You will keep adding things as you go, that is another thing.

29, 30 – Traveling for Festival Vs Sports

These types of travel are time-based. You must do them at a particular time.

Festivals are a good reason to visit a destination at a particular time like visiting Gujarat for Navaratri or Surajkund during Mela or Prayagraj during Kumbh Mela. This includes shopping festivals that are hosted by countries like Singapore and Dubai.

Sports events too, take place in a given duration. So, if you are a huge cricket or a football fan and you have a followed the sport all your life on television, once in a while you should see the action live. I think this would be best enjoyed with your buddies who are equally passionate about the sport.

31, 32 – Gap Year Travel Vs Volunteering

Gap year travel is popular in the western world. This is one thing I hope our Indian youth also starts taking up. There is so much you can learn first-hand from traveling that it would enrich you for the rest of your life.

Voluntourism came in vogue last few years but lately, there are a lot of questions being raised about it. I would say pick up a small job with a local organization that allows you about 50% of your time to yourself, that you use to explore the place.

33 – Pilgrimage Tourism

Pilgrimage is the oldest form of tourism. In India, many Yatras are prescribed for everyone, that would take you around the country. Though the ultimate destination is always a temple or a Tirtha the journey would take you through the landscape of the route. You would end up interacting with the people on the way and discover their cultures.

It is also the spiritual travel that you take as much inwards as you take it outwards. In good old days, when you went on pilgrimage, you also spent time with learned saints and sadhus with an aim to gain knowledge.

34, 35 – Medical Tourism Vs Industrial Tourism

These are two modern age technology driven travels. Medical tourism lets you go to a new destination for medical treatment. You may do it for its cost or for the quality of treatment. For example, a lot of people come to India for Ayurvedic treatments or Dental treatments.

Industrial tourism is mostly done by students trying to gain insight into the world of industries that they would soon become part of. However, in Germany, I visited the Volkswagen factory on a tour, and it was an incredible experience. There may not be too many readily available, but try the ones that you can take up.

36, 37 – Mountains Vs Beaches or Skiing Vs Surfing

Some of us are mountain lovers and others are beach lovers. I like both. Do not let the labels you give yourself not to enjoy the other. I have friends who would not touch beaches because they call themselves a mountain person. Skiing and surfing are equally enjoyable.

Types of Travel

Finally, no matter what types of Travel you choose, you are essentially choosing between disconnecting from the World or engaging with the world. No matter how you travel, enjoy it, these are some of the most precious moments of your life.

The post How Many Different Types Of Travel You Can Do? appeared first on Inditales.

[chorapper]

🌵20 Questions🌵

I was tagged by @sweetheartwonho!! thank you for tagging me and sorry that i’m so late to do this!!

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

👑Nickname: none, except “melina” which only one of my closest friends call me (italian for honey??or something like that i can’t rly remember)

👑Gender: female

👑Star Sign: virgo

👑Height: 167cm

👑Time right now: 23:03 / 11:03pm

👑Last Thing I Googled: home button transparent (made a photoshop thingy for my friend lmao)

👑Favorite Bands: monsta x, b.a.p, block b, boys republic, 4minute and maaaaany more 

👑Favorite Solo Artist: blackmill, koda, miriam bryant, taemin 👑Song Stuck In Your Head: a-ha’s take on me (hfgkjgh for real)

👑Last Movie I Watched: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (strongly recommended!!)

👑Last TV Show I Watched: the blacklist (also strongly recommended!! in fact i’ll watch another episode right after this haaaah)

👑When Did You Create Your Blog: October in 2013

👑What Kind of Stuff Do You Post: 60% monsta x, 25% other kpop groups and 15% random things

👑When did your blog Reach its peak? idk if i can rly call it a peak lmao but i think just recently?? like two moths ago or something

👑Do You Have Any Other Blogs: just this one altho i’m considering creating another one just for monsta x when i finally stop being lazy and actually post the gifs and stuff i make about them lmao

👑Do You Get Asks Regularly: i haven’t gotten one in 2+ years lmfao

👑Why Did You Chose Your URL: back in the days (lol) when i was posting basically just super junior stuff and i saw That One Video of kyuhyun and ryeowook rapping on stage fancam and i was like oh my gosh kyuhyun is rapping and therefore cho+rapper??? 

👑Following: 363

👑Posts: 16 370 sweet jesus i have no life

👑Hogwarts House: hufflepuff, according to the test i just did

👑Pokemon Team: instinct

👑Favorite Colors: black!! and orange

👑Average Hours of Sleep: depends, while working it’s around 8, if i’m in school it’s around 4, during weekends up to 13 so idek what my average would be lmfao

👑Lucky Numbers: 6

👑Favourite character: oh god so many!! franky & trafalgar law (one piece), lyndon (diablo 3), tom keen & donald ressler (blacklist), sameen shaw & lionel fusco (person of interest), cathbad (from elly griffiths’ books about ruth galloway), eleven & jonathan (stranger things), mo guanshan (19 days) ok i’ll stop there

👑What Are You Wearing Right Now: ............just panties lmao but that’s because i just showered and it’s so hot in stockholm today

👑How many blankets do you sleep with: one

👑Dream job: i’d love to somehow work with planets, star constellations or zodiacs but i’m faaaaar too dumb for all that math and physics and shit orz but i’m studying to become an electrician which is really fun!!

👑Dream trip: all around the world tbhhhhhh but my cousin did some kind of backpacking through asia which seemed super nice so i guess something like that

I tag: @wonkkyun, @jonginsbias, @fyhjjxxn, @sofiesakura, @honungsbin, @shawol-nana, @delicatelykeenbouquet